Mediocre Movie Club Movie Reviews

The Big Empty

5/25/2015

1.67
C-

I'm not exactly sure what this movie was going for - Bryan

Sean Bean & Kelsey Grammer were fine, but they were too little too late - Phil
I would say [Favreau] deserves better, but he doesn't - Jon

Initial Review by Tom

I had never heard of this movie prior to searching for something which piqued my interest on netflix. To set up my mindset and very likely my enjoyment of said film 1. I was not in the mood for a serious drama 2. I wanted something easily enjoyable to watch 3. Early Jon Favreau is generally enjoyable 4. fuck off it’s my pick.

This movie satisfied on all points. The only thing missing was a big ol bucket of artery clogging day old popcorn and a gallon of the finest diet soda. A popcorn movie at it’s finest ranks up with the classics for me. They are of equal importance. You can’t have chateauneuf du pape everyday.

In addition to being entertaining this is well written, well acted, and while not outright poking fun at itself at least does not take itself too seriously. There are little things sprinkled throughout the movie that would make at least one rewatch worthwhile. The bandaid on Grace’s neck is seen again in the last abduction scene on John’s neck and then again on the FBI agent’s neck. Indian Bob was present in the first bar scene only to be called back in the last. I could go on but then again you could also go watch the movie. I would enjoy watching again specifically for these and to see what can be pieced together when. A special note should be made about Kelsey Grammer. His first scene in the bar is truly great. Forceful, commanding, and funny.

You know the more I think about this movie it is an instant classic for me. Aliens, Conspiracy, and one of the few movies in which Sean Bean does not die? Win, Win, freakin win!

This is an A. The only reason this movie does not get an A+ is that it makes me want to watch evolution and laugh my ass off. If this movies was funnier I would go buy the bluray special edition tomorrow.

As a Side note Netflix had a screenshot with Wesley Snipes in it reading a paper sitting on a bench when I picked this movie. I was waiting for him to show up the whole time. The issue is solved now apparently but still was weirding me out for a while.

37 Comments

Bryan

5/26/2015 04:06:29 pm

24 hours later and no reviews. I guess I'll chime in.

Jon Favreau is up there on my list of uninspiring actors. His performance was about as exciting as the actor whom he was portraying. However, hearing that he's going to deliver an empty suitcase - that could be amusing. At least we don't have to watch him putz around his apartment.

A series of tired script obstacles and just misses greet John Person in the trucking town. I can't say any of them were exciting nor interesting.

Kelsey Grammar showed up as the FBI agent to save the day. He was at least a little charming with the "oh, that's just in my script line" after yelling at John Person.

I'm not exactly sure what this movie was going for. Tom seems to think it was a spoof on itself or other films, but I couldn't tell. I spent most of this movie waiting for each predictable scene to play itself out. I'm trying to think of a clever adjective for this movie, but all I keep thinking of is, "dumb." I'm going with a D.

PS After Tom referring to the guy from A Girl Walks Home as James Dean and his quote about not getting that time back, I thought maybe I had found a reviewer with whom my opinions might correlate... and ruined.

Sean

5/27/2015 04:57:55 pm

Bryan's bias toward particular actors is difficult for him to get around. He's less on an island with Favreau than Bruce Willis but I disagree, I like him ok, he's an everyman. He just happens to be an everyman who is also a writer/director and gained the ability to cast hot chicks as his love interest.

Jon

5/26/2015 06:46:32 pm

I'm not a Jon Favreau fan. He's got a handful of successes that I won't even attempt to deny. Elf and Iron Man are both critical and commercial successes, deservedly so. His roles in I Love You, Man and Rudy are strong. Thus ends good things I have to say about Jon Favreau. Swingers doesn't do anything for me. Cowboys & Aliens is supposed to be a disaster. I very much disliked Chef, in which Favreau casts all his famous friends to tell him how great he is, and the viewer is asked to believe that there's a universe in which he would date Scarlett Johannson. Favreau didn't write or direct The Big Empty, but his lackluster presence dominates it.

This must've required some serious Netflix searching, as I'm fairly certain it was a straight-to-video disaster. I suppose Steve Anderson's (future director of Fuck) script got made due to its interesting mix of noir and science fiction, but the science fiction is half-baked and I don't really like noir. The script for Fuck might be a mix of romantic comedy and hardcore porn (I assume), but based on the Big Empty, I think it's safe to say Anderson is a better writer than director, and the script sucked (more on that later). Scenes lack consistency and don't seem to occupy a real place. Person's walk through the desert, fully clothed with a coat, is supplemented by shimmering heat. Anderson's telling me it's hot with the shimmering, and mild with the coat. Pick a temp and go with it. Person lectures Randy about how to treat women while he's carrying a gagged Ruthie to her car. Take the gag out of her mouth, obviously. These kind of things, where something is clearly inconsistent onscreen, break movies.

Several directing flubs aside, the script is a disaster beyond its smooshing of genres. Everyone's wooden and has strange reactions to things. John Person (who has an awful, awful name, by the way) gets threatened with death repeatedly and reacts with mild annoyance. Joey Lauren Adams's character is one of those badly-written characters that has no inner life, but only lives for the protagonist. Her conversations with Person are purely about him. I left the movie knowing nothing about her, except that she has a throbbing wide-on for Person the walking disaster. Why does Person put up his head shots in his hotel, and why does no one call him on this narcissistic nonsense? How many times does a hotel clerk have to barge into your room while you're sleeping before he's told this is monumentally creepy? There's very little recognizable behavior. Maybe everyone's an alien, which is communicated so lazily and uninterestingly, that it's not worth questioning.

The dialogue isn't doing The Big Empty any favors, either. No one needs to say Federal Bureau of Investigation in a movie ever, much less several times. Everyone knows what the FBI does. Person's acting career is alluded to by the hooker, where she loved the show he did about a guy, a girl, and a diner. Anderson could've had her say anything there, but he went with the most generic setup possible. The lines are dumped into the movie with nothing from the actor. They just lay there, wooden and lifeless. Kelsey Grammer does boost the film slightly, but his crappy, false dialogue is only improved through his force of will, which means it only gets so far.

The Big Empty is aptly titled. I could not be further from Topper's A. This barely held my attention. Favreau is in every scene, and looks like he barely wants to be there. I would say he deserves better, but he doesn't. Grammer saves it from being completely useless. On the grade, we're definitely in D range. Since it didn't piss me off, and since it's just weightless and nothing, it gets a D+, so that line about not being further from Topper's A was a half-truth. Round 6 is off to a rough start.

5/27/2015 07:19:21 am

I bet walking through the desert in a jacket is safer than a t-shirt.

5/27/2015 07:34:37 am

Totally possible, but he didn't look even look uncomfortable. It's a bad edit. Spray some water on his face to make him look sweaty. This is supposed to be a pretty big moment, where Person has just witnessed something otherworldly, and the scene's being broken by a lack of consistency.

Tom

5/27/2015 05:08:13 am

I believe you are taking this movie too seriously. It is not high drama obviously.

5/27/2015 09:22:52 am

It's not, but it still needs to be interesting and contain believable behavior. It can skirt those parameters if it's funny, but I didn't catch a single joke in it.

tom

5/27/2015 10:10:49 am

A movie does not need to contain believable behavior. pulp fiction contains numerous unbelievable behaviors. So do most movies. Put a microscope to any and you can find where they have hidden logical inconsistancies for the sake of telling the story. They only get in the way if the story they are telling is not interesting to you.

5/27/2015 10:54:58 am

There's plot inconsistencies and cheats, like coincidences or deus ex machinas, and there's character inconsistency. I would agree that plot problems are often baked into the medium. Film is partly about spectacle, and getting to the next action scene often means scrimping on plot. Character inconsistency is more unforgivable. Pulp Fiction contains false medical information and hillbilly rape dungeons, but the characters react to these things in a recognizable fashion. A character can find themselves in an outlandish scenario, but they have to react like a recognizable human. A movie can fuss with the rules of the universe, but the rules of human behavior are ironclad.

5/27/2015 12:35:32 pm

Your argument is he didnt behave in a consistent manner, or a manner recognizably human. This seems to be refuted by your review because he is pretty steadfast or deadpan depending on interpretation throughout the movie. Human behavior and especially the judgement of it is inherently subjective. Psychology and sociology are "soft sciences" because of this. I wont argue the appropriatness of john person's actions but also wont argue the appropriatness of going medieval on someone's ass after getting ass raped (instead of maybe seeking medical attention for one's rectal trauma). We need characters in movies to behave outside the norm or in ways we would not excpect. Clark griswold cannot rush uncle lewis to the hospital after suffering burns to his back and scalp. He has to sit there and eat turkey jerky instead of getting chinese take out. This makes movies work within their own narrative.

5/27/2015 03:23:34 pm

Inherently subjective, like assigning grades to an artistic endeavor?

Deadpan in the scenarios he was experiencing didn't seem like the appropriate response, as he was at the end of his rope and presumably a little desperate. I already find Favreau to be such a blah actor, that his choice to go for deadpan confirmed my preconception and shut me off.

Out-of-the-norm behavior works in comedies because defying expectations is a source of humor. This was not a comedy, because comedies have jokes.

5/27/2015 03:45:20 pm

I dont disagree with disliking the film. I just think that the reason given is something which can be pointed to In any movie Comedy, drama, scifi, whatever genre there are examples.

5/27/2015 04:07:13 pm

I'll think about it, but I really believe in nearly all of the movies I would give a B+ or better, I can get into the mindset of the character and appreciate their reaction to events, no matter how outlandish the setting. If I can't answer "Why did that person/AI/alien/talking animal do that?", a movie's getting docked.

5/28/2015 01:00:06 am

Fair enough

Shane

5/27/2015 04:10:02 pm

Wesley Snipes never showed up. What the fuck?

F

Ok, jokes. Just jokes.

I didn't really know what to expect with The Big Empty. I like Favreau in general and even in his lesser roles, I've enjoyed him. I enjoyed his performance again here, but I did not enjoy the convoluted story and the bad acting by 50-75% of the cast. This movie just ended up a mess at the end.

I think we get set up with a solid world to begin with. I was interested for the most part of the movie even. I think Favreau does the heavy lfiting here and pulled off the desperate, narcissistic failing actor pretty well. I wasn't buying that he wouldn't notice Gracie's overtures, but whatever, I could get over that. We're watching a movie about John Person and at least we get a solid performance.

Kelsey Grammar also drops in with a mostly good performance. I think he was limited by what is some pretty bad dialogue, but he sells the hell out of it even if his scenes tend to last too long. I don't blame someone for trying to keep him on the screen for that long with this performance, however.

Daryl Hannah is also convincing her role, but again is limited by some dialogue. "I got me some money saved away and I'm gonna leave this ol' town when I get a chance." Did Christopher Moltisanti help write this? That's bad.

I can't recall anyone else sticking out for anything good. I know we're not supposed to take this movie seriously, but the guy playing Randy was horrible. Uncle Rico was around way too much to even remotely buy his eccentricities. Rachel Leigh Cook reminded me why she seemingly has disappeared (she was horrid). Way too many actors were distractingly bad and took me out of scenes I was about to get into.

And the end? I don't know. The alien thing was such a silly subplot. It's mentioned, but there's really nothing I saw to support that even being a thing outside of the bandages. There's just no intelligent development of the damn climax. I had to go read what exactly happened. What were the importance of the bowling shoes? Why the bowling? Why is The Cowboy a superior being but incapable of showing up at the right time? But he did show up just in the nick of time.

For a good bit of the film, I thought maybe they were doing something clever like filming John without him knowing it. Like it was a Windy City Heat type of situation. That would have been more interesting.

At least now I don't feel so bad for making Topper watch A Girl Walks Alone at Night.

C-

5/27/2015 04:39:37 pm

I'd love to see your general categorization for each letter grade. At this point I feel like you labeled the spinner from the Game of Life and gave it a whirl after this review.

5/27/2015 05:14:33 pm

A C+ is an average movie. My thought here is that an average movie at least bring some joy to your life, so it's above a C. A C movie would be just you staring at a screen the entire time. It did nothing for you, but at least it was competent. Lots of kids movies probably end up at a C.

A D means it had at least -something- redeeming even if it wasn't competent. D's are rare because if there's something redeeming, it usually means there is competency.

An F is usually emotional. Godzilla (1998 version) gets an F because it was so wildly disappointing and I feel like I was robbed of 8$.

What puts this movie in that C- range is that the plot made no sense. The acting was generally not very good. However, the set-up was good and I like Favreau's performance. I feel like it was a negative overall, though there are some objectively good parts.

5/27/2015 05:00:14 pm

Daryl Hannah was hotter in this than she's been in decades

5/27/2015 05:20:20 pm

Let's talk about bartender hot. It's a thing. Being behind a bar makes women 2-3 points higher (It makes a 7 a 10).

When I was bartending, I would gladly do all the dirty work and make the server drinks because I knew the guys at the bar would much rather tip the lady bar-tenders. But they generally weren't even that good looking, but when they would walk away, dudes would be like, "Oh man, how do you even contain yourself back there. She's so hot."

5/27/2015 05:31:19 pm

That's called being drunk and seeing people in dim lights, not bartender specific

5/28/2015 12:23:33 am

I don't know if I agree. People didn't hit on the servers near as much even though they were actually more attractive.

Drew

5/27/2015 05:12:12 pm

I was so pissed when Wesley Snipes no showed.

5/27/2015 04:52:42 pm

Is this supposed to be like Sharknado? If so, great. If not, then...ouch.

Jon Favreau's best spot is playing Tony Stark's body man. Nothing else. This below mediocre performance is case - in - point.

I do not want to spend a lot of time thinking about this bad film. Is it Troll 2 or Sharknado? No, so I dismiss the idea Anderson wanted to make an awesomely bad film. After a while, Troll 2 and Sharknado received a tremendous cult following and it is difficult to fathom The Big Empty could do that.

When bad acting is mixed with bad dialogue and bad actors, a shitshow is about to be made. This could easily be an F but Randy dying and Kelsey Grammer give it a passing grade.

Grade: D

5/27/2015 04:54:56 pm

Free thinking comment intro bullet style

+They filmed a porno here one time- joke
+How'd you know my name is Dan?- joke
+He said Candy gives a damn nice hummer.-joke
+Ruthie or mom is a tough decision
+I wonder how much space in a dossier "masturbatory techniques" takes up on the average person. I'd feel bad for anyone with only 1 sentence but any more than 4-6 sentences and you get into trouble.
+Half-empty bottle of hand lotion, must be the climate.-joke
+So far FBI vs Federal Bureau of Investigation is 2-2 not sure why the complaints
+Great advice given to Randy by John after saving Ruthie
+Most baby voices are annoying but it works on Joey Lauren Adams
+We'll be in there but knock first
+I'm wondering if maybe Topper was drunk when he gave it an A
+You don't know what season this movie is filmed in, it's Southern California desert, it could be January and in the 50s outside, last time I was in Vegas in December it was 30 and the news was talking about wrapping pipes. Bob the Indian is wearing a heavy coat.

This movie wasn't very good but it wasn't worth hating. C- seems about right

5/27/2015 05:16:21 pm

Your review jogged my memory of something today...

Geoff was trying to open a door today that has been child-proofed. I looked at him and said, "That door cannot be opened." I then laighted to myself.

5/27/2015 05:32:15 pm

A travesty it didn't win quote of the year.

5/27/2015 05:42:21 pm

You would think that, wouldn't you, you son of a bitch?

Likebot

5/28/2015 06:17:55 am

Likebot likes William Peterson

5/28/2015 12:47:46 am

These are my favorite types of reviews, bullet points.

Wesley Snipes

5/27/2015 05:17:29 pm

You guys were mad? I needed that money to be in this movie. Would have gone a long way to keeping me out of jail. :(

5/27/2015 05:43:58 pm

Topper mentioned your appearance on the Netflix description page and disappearance in the movie has been solved-
Was it really you under a Sean Bean mask? Is that why he didn't die?

Wesley

5/28/2015 01:39:33 am

I don't hide behind no white man! Especially one that always dies.

5/28/2015 02:13:17 am

After looking through some reviews on imdb and rotten tomatoes this film is either loved or hated. I love the offbeat, campy feel. I love alien films done in a quirky way. So I found the oddity of the characters and the nonstandard tone of the movie thouroughly enjoyable.

5/28/2015 05:08:16 am

As someone who likes Rocky Horror, I can appreciate that this would be a cult favorite.

Bobby

5/28/2015 03:34:45 am

This movie didn't really do much for me in one direction or the other. I didn't hate it, but I certainly didn't love it... or even like it. So actually, I'm probably going slightly in the negative direction.

I didn't read anything about the Big Empty going in, so I started with a completely blank slate. For a while, I thought Gracie, and pretty much everybody else involved, was setting John up for some life/acting prank, like in The Game. I probably would have enjoyed that, or it being some ridiculous audition or filming for some part in a new show/movie. But aliens, sure.

Jon Favreau is pretty meh, and about as average as you can get I think. Which is fine for a lesser role, but it's certainly not inspiring for a lead. Most of the supporting cast felt fine for me... Kesley Grammer being the best of the bunch. Ben's dad/Uncle Rico just made me think of L. Ron Hubbard, which I'll assume was intentionally cause of, you know.. aliens. Maybe Cowboy was actually Xenu... eh.

The movie, in general, just felt uninteresting. I did have a slight glimmer of hope, when Indian Bob said "here it comes" as the rock music started to pick up. That glimmer was for Doof Warrior to come hurling through the desert on the Doof Wagon... flames a blazin'. Alas... just a clown car-avan stuffed with people presumably going to space. Which could have been cool, I guess... if they actually made it interesting

I didn't hate it enough to throw it in the D territory, so C- seems right

Phil

5/29/2015 06:24:34 pm

I could sit here and write out a lengthy review, but this damn movie just stole 95 minutes of my life that could have gone to Dragon Age Inquisition. It gets exactly five more. I'm going to put as much effort into this as Adam Beach did into his performance. Couple thoughts...

The second act where Person meets the townspeople and, look out, they're a little kooky, was so boring and unfunny I actually cut my lunch short to continue working. There were maybe two jokes that made me crack a smile. It reminded me of Wanderlust in a very bad way.

Sean Bean & Kelsey Grammar were fine, but they were too little too late.

I gave negative eight shits about the relationship between Person and Joey Lauren Adams. She's in one inocuous scene and now I'm supposed to be emotionally invested in her well-being? Yeah, let's build up a relationship with one girl and make the audience care about the fate of a different one. Weird choice.

Ok, I'm done. No pluses or minuses. God I hope Blue Ruin is good.

Grade: D

Cooker

7/28/2015 03:10:08 am

First off, I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to hear the STP song at some point in this. Come on, man!
I have no problem with Jon Favreau. I thought he was great as Rudy’s pal and I enjoyed Very Bad Things. I can understand his character’s obsession with headshots. Back in my indie acting days, I got headshots done and it is a decision. But he took it a little overboard. I also fail to understand how he racked up $28k in credit card debt. Okay, you’re an actor in L.A. with only two commercials and a failed sitcom to your name and you don’t have a normal job? That’s just common sense. I have friends pursuing acting in California and they all work in between auditions and what not.
So we develop into the plot where he has to deliver a briefcase from one place to another. I thought, oh, it’s like Dumb and Dumber. I was wrong. It’s just dumb. And he has to meet a character called the Cowboy, played by Sean Bean. That made me think of Innerspace. Anyone see that one?
We get introduced to a bunch of kooky characters. Uncle Rico worked at a hotel (I liked that they had a Twinkie on the bed at arrival—although I’d prefer a cupcake), crazy Dan in the café who told stories about aliens and bullet trains, Bob the Indian, Kelsey Grammar as an FBI agent. You have a scene with the girl from She’s All That (That was her, right?) and Jon drinking beer and eating wHip cream in the desert and who could forget about Randy?
You have murder and mystery and abductions and briefcases and a bowling bag with a potential head inside and I simply just didn’t care about anything that was going on. It’s not that the movie was boring, I honestly just didn’t care about any of it. I wanted to see more of the kooky characters interacting. That could’ve been more interesting.
In the end we have a space cult and the possible reason for the movie Cowboys and Aliens. At least Homer Simpson would be pleased that it had some bowling in it. But that doesn’t even save this “what the heck did I just watch” movie. Not bad, but didn’t care … I think puts this in the C- range.

The Big Empty

1.67
C-

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The Big Empty

1.67C-

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1.67
C-