MEDIOCREMOVIE.CLUB
  • Reviews
  • Side Pieces
  • Shane of Thrones
  • Podcast
  • About
  • Archives
  • Game of Thrones Fantasy

Swiss Army Man

3/31/2020

0 Comments

 

B
​3.07

A suicidal man comes across a dead body with a surprising number of life-saving abilities.

Directed by Daniel Scheinert and Daniel Kwan
Starring Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliffe
Review by Jon Kissel

Picture
Swiss Army Man, better known by its Sundance moniker as the 'farty boner corpse movie,' does certainly contain all those things.  The marooned Hank (Paul Dano) finds Manny's (Daniel Radcliffe) dead body (check) on a beach and he soon discovers all the magical abilities this corpse is capable of.  His farts (check) have the ability to both amuse and propel and ignite, there's a deep well of water inside him, and his erection (check) serves as a divining rod/compass.  Manny eventually learns to talk, and, having no memory of life before his 'death,' it falls to Hank to teach him about the world and how people interact with each other, though Hank himself is generally unskilled at relationships. 


Read More
0 Comments

The Skulls

3/18/2020

0 Comments

 

B-
2.67

A Yale student from a working class background is inducted into a prestigious secret society.

Directed by Rob Cohen
Starring Joshua Jackson, Paul Walker, and Leslie Bibb
​Review by Jon Kissel

Picture
My fraternity experience was valuable in a social, confidence-building, test of skills kind of way, but I never checked an ATM balance after I joined and found my account had  mysteriously added a few zeroes.  I could’ve got a cherry ride out of it, too, if only I had joined the Skulls, a riff on the Yale secret society that was in the news at the time of the film’s release thanks to generations of Bush family membership.  Big-budget schlock director Rob Cohen attempts to mine some cultural criticism out of the aristocratic odor wafting off these kinds of elite organizations, but he surrenders to the impulses he would fully give himself over to in Stealth and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.  Why make a compelling drama about class when a car chase set to late 90’s dirtbag rock will suffice?


Read More
0 Comments

Hamburger Hill

3/11/2020

2 Comments

 

C-
​1.78

A platoon of Airborne soldiers fight to take Hill 937 from the North Vietnamese Army.

Directed by John Irvin
Starring Dylan McDermott, Courtney B. Vance, and Steven Weber
​Review by Jon Kissel

Picture
We live in complicated times at this moment, but it’s easy to forget that our parents didn’t have it any easier, and arguably had it harder.  They also lived through an unnecessary war, choking economic stagnation, and intranational conditions that erupted in violence.  How film dealt with the 60’s and 70’s, specifically the Vietnam War, is an attempt at public therapy but it can’t help but fall into political poles.  Some of the most memorable and acclaimed movies about Vietnam, like Apocalypse Now or Full Metal Jacket, focus on the insanity and the absurdity, and therefore split the right/left divisions.  Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July work as axes to grind by their director, Oliver Stone, who remains justifiably angry at the government that deceitfully sent so many of its own citizens to kill and be killed.  On the opposite end of the spectrum are films like the Rambo sequels and Hamburger Hill, works that feed into a victimization and a stabbed-in-the-back narrative that has sustained fascist movements throughout the 20th century and beyond.  Hamburger Hill reeks of political messaging in the most blunt way imaginable, a film that laments the loss of life while reveling in blood and gore.  Along with American Sniper, this might be the worst war film I’ve ever seen.


Read More
2 Comments

Alita Battle Angel

3/5/2020

0 Comments

 
C
​1.90

An advanced cyborg is discovered by an inventor and revived with no memories of her mysterious past.

Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Starring Rosa Salazar, Christoph Waltz, and Keean Johnson
Review by Jon Kissel

Picture
If there’s a kind of blockbuster film that drives me crazy, it’s the franchise originator that automatically assumes sequels are coming.  These kinds of movies aren’t self-contained nuggets of story and character, but stall games that are mere first acts of a single story compared to first entries in a continuing saga.  Green Lantern, Tom Cruise’s Mummy, The Last Airbender, that movie that cast John C. Reilly as a vampire mentor, all half-measures and aborted corporate wastes of time. This brings us to Alita: Battle Angel, a long-gestating James Cameron project/hentai masterwork.  It gives snippets of backstory that will inevitably be filled in later, withholds a single glimpse of the giant city above the city where the action takes place, and casts Ed Norton just so he can wear futuristic goggles and smirk in a single scene, like the viewer is going to be enticed to come back to this franchise so they can watch him type menacingly.  Movies often end on ellipses, but this whole outing is an ellipsis, a vehicle for CGI that could’ve moved through its thin plot in about 30 minutes.


Read More
0 Comments

    Authors

    JUST SOME IDIOTS GIVING SURPRISINGLY AVERAGE MOVIE REVIEWS.

    Categories

    All
    2017 Catch Up Trio
    80s
    Action
    Adventure
    AI Trio
    Author - Blair
    Author - Bobby
    Author - Bryan
    Author - Chris
    Author - Cook
    Author - Drew
    Author - Joe
    Author - Jon
    Author - JR
    Author - Lane
    Author - Phil
    Author - Pierce
    Author - Sean
    Author - Shane
    Author - Tom
    Best Of 2016
    Best Of 2017
    Best Of 2018
    Best Of 2019
    Best Of 2020
    Best Of 2021
    Best Of 2022
    Comedy
    Culture Clash Trio
    Denzel Trio
    Documentary
    Drama
    Foreign
    Historical
    Horror
    Internet Docs Trio
    Mediocrities
    Movie Trios
    Musical
    Podcast
    Romance
    Round 3.1
    Round 3.2
    Round 3.3
    Round 4.1
    Round 4.2
    Round 4.3
    Sci Fi
    Season 10
    Season 2
    Season 3
    Season 4
    Season 5
    Season 6
    Season 7
    Season 8
    Season 9
    Shorts
    Sports
    Thriller
    Western
    Women In Men's Worlds

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014

    Click to set custom HTML