MEDIOCREMOVIE.CLUB
  • Reviews
  • Side Pieces
  • Shane of Thrones
  • Podcast
  • About
  • Archives
  • Game of Thrones Fantasy

Snowpiercer

3/23/2015

76 Comments

 
B
3.13
  • The concept is probably the best part of this movie. - Shane
  • It also seems to mix a hard core anime/comic styling with large cheesy children's book characters like Tilda Swinton's character. - Tom
  • Tilda Swinton is absolutely phenomenal in the role, in total control of every muscle in her face as she works through her many tics and mannerisms. - Jon
Initial Review by Shane

One time, way back in the 1506 days, I came home after seeing The Departed. Bobby, sitting in the living room, greeted me and asked how it was. I deadpanned, “Everybody dies.” This was a legit spoiler, but Bobby laughed and I laughed and a great time was had by all. Just two good friends, sharing a joke.

But then Bobby went and saw it. He came home and said, “Wow. You spoiled that movie. Everyone died.” (Or something like that.) It’s become a running joke for whenever we ask how a movie was. Had I seen Snowpiercer on that night (perhaps I had a time-machine), I would have done the same joke. Everybody dies. And I loved it.

The concept is probably the best part of this movie. You have a giant train and each car is different. It’s like playing a video game. As Blair said after, “There is no way you could remotely predict anything in this movie.” I love that. It’s a challenge to introduce such a wild concept, but I think Bong Joon-ho mostly succeeds. He builds us a world where I guess we can have an ever-running train. What I like are the small touches that parts of the train decay and whatnot, though you think they’d have a machinist on the train. I’ll admit that it was a little goofy and objectively that takes away from the finished product, but I loved it nonetheless. (The rave room was probably the goofiest.)

I also loved a lot of the shots in this film. We have a tight space and Joon-ho does a fine job of making it feel cramped when he wants too. We got some neat shots and colors throughout and a big credit goes to not only the cinematography, but also the set design guys. I loved checking out each of the rooms as we advanced and the camera let us explore them. I think being able to experience the newness of each room along with Curtis was organic and made sense.

For performances, I think we mostly have good work. Chris Evans doesn’t always have a lot of personality, but he gives us enough. In particular, his confessional in the end was well done, even if he’s still holding back some. Tilda Swinton does fantastic and I didn’t even recognize her. I wanted to punch her through the screen. Song Kang-ho and Jamie Bell do fine as well, with Kang-ho settling in well for that eclectic and wise character that is popular in Eastern cinema. Ewen Bremner is weird looking, as always. Ed Harris does a pretty good job with what he has, but I think the dialogue fails him a bit. There was one performance that I didn’t care for and that was John Hurt as Gilliam. I thought his gravelly voice was excessive and distracting.

Now, we’re gonna get off the tracks a little bit. (Nailed it.) I think there’s a huge difference in Easter and Western cinema in character actions and development. It’s simply the different approach: We focus on the individual and they focus on the group. With that, I feel like in a lot of Japanese and Korean movies, we get odd ball characters and just accept them. There is no explanation and I never feel like the film-makers even thought of explaining them. Here, we have the mute super athletic guy as a prime example. It makes sense because his individual background doesn’t matter. What’s important is what he brings to the group. I’ve learned to accept this from Eastern films and that’s helped me enjoy them more. Sometimes, just accept that for some reason there’s a mute badass in the tail end of a train.

With that, there’s also this interesting trend of noble deaths in Eastern movies. Selfless sacrifice is huge and deaths aren’t mourned near as much unless it’s the death of an elder type. These films seldom allow characters to die without having done something redeeming or selfless first. We see it with almost every single character in this movie, though Andrew’s death is rather sudden.

I’m also willing to give a small pass on the dialogue, which was pretty clunky sometimes. Americans don’t speak like that at all. This, you are a leader stuff being thrown out so concretely seems awkward for us. That and the long speeches given by almost every important character. But that sort of dialogue is seemingly way more common in Eastern films. It doesn’t bother me, but again objectively, I think it takes some luster away.

Ultimately, I think there’s a theme here and it’s not what we see in American film. The lesson isn’t to risk everything to maintain your individual rights. Rather, I think the lesson here is that there is order for a reason. You have to respect where you’re from. The whole is way more important than the individual. If we don’t fulfill our roles, chaos ensues and 99% of humanity dies in a horrific train wreck.

To conclude, this was a fun movie, even if it had some objective issues. I added a couple more Bong Joon-ho films to my queue. If this was on TV, I would watch it every time.

B+

76 Comments
Bryan
3/24/2015 03:15:20 pm

Based on Kissel's recommendation, I burned up a ton of Amazon promo credit to watch this.

Speaking of Amazon promo credit, they gave me $1 for MP3's for downloading the HBO Go app to my Fire Stick. Weird.

Mason (the mean lady) was intense, grosE, and incredibly well done. The only reason I can think of that Curtis was silently elected leader was his chiseled jaw. Wilford (engineer) was a huge letdown - my expectations were high, and they weren't even tingled just a bit upon arrival in the engine.

The story itself was a roller coaster of feasibility. My mindset was kung fu movie through entirely too much of this film.

The plan at the beginning was brilliant and feasible. The build up and the action out of the rear car was great. After that things fell apart for me.

The leaders must be American being so grossed out by eating bugs. I thought it was going to be human remains when they first glanced in, not showing what was cooking. Either Shane is right about food bars saving society, or more likely, the people at the back of the train would have almost no muscle mass based on what we saw of their daily life. Staying fit requires exercise and protein. How did they stay so fit for 18 years?

We knew the engineer had to be watching so he could have cut loose the rear car or better sealed a door, but he didn't so the story got too fishy too fast. What kind of fish did they slice open in that fight scene? Asian Carp maybe.

The mathematical planning of the society didn't seem to fit based on the population demographics we were privy to. Where did all of the front car people sleep? I don't think their tomato yields were high enough to sustain the population either. The director gave us the illusion of going car by car, but so much was left out it became distracting in the back of my mind.

My favorite scene by far was the school children scene. Nationalism in our schools is alive and well. Snowpiercer captured it perfectly. Wilford might as well be our "Founding Fathers." I'm not sure what country the director was mocking in that episode, but it's probably every country. Who is the athlete that strikes the archery pose? Usain Bolt, I think.

As an action movie and for a few brilliant scenes, Snowpiercer scores a B in my book. I could be talked down, but definitely not up.

Reply
Jon
3/24/2015 03:30:06 pm

"Speaking of Amazon promo credit, they gave me $1 for MP3's for downloading the HBO Go app to my Fire Stick."

What a time to be alive.

Reply
Shane
3/24/2015 03:49:49 pm

Bugs are basically pure protein. If anything, they would have suffered from scurvy and other vitamin deficiencies unless those were added as well. I did wonder how they stayed in shape, but it's probably like prison and they had nothing else to do. Then again, most didn't look like they were in good shape.

Reply
Bryan
3/24/2015 03:52:48 pm

Did you see them fighting? They had much more aerobic endurance than any person could gain stuck in a train car.

Shane
3/24/2015 04:18:33 pm

Agreed. Maybe a lot of practice? It's just a goofy aspect of the movie.

Jon
3/24/2015 08:04:55 pm

You're right about the bugs. For an Eastern audience, that would be a pretty prosaic reveal. I've seen enough Anthony Bourdain or Idiot Abroad to know that it's not a rare thing to buy a scorpion on a stick in a Chinese marketplace. It absolutely should've been human remains.

Reply
Bryan
3/25/2015 05:02:52 am

This would also better explain the usefulness of the quell.

Sean
3/25/2015 08:17:53 am

With the way they reacted to seeing the bugs I'm pretty sure it was written to be human remains then changed after the fact to get through censors and avoid NC-17

Jon
3/25/2015 12:35:12 pm

That's definitely possible. Snowpiercer was produced by the Weinstein company, which is infamous for cutting movies to shit for commercial or censor concerns.

Tom
3/27/2015 07:48:54 am

I found Snowpiercer to be a solid c+ probably would not watch again without someone suggesting and then pressing play. It was entertaining but cliched. It also seems to mix a hard core anime/comic styling with large cheesy children's book characters like Tilda Swinton's character. Huh she is named after a symbol? wierd. Anyway. I actually enjoyed John Hurt's performance. His voice led credence to the hard life picked for him by the conductor. It gave us an aural cue to that section of the train. I felt Ed Harris's performance was forced and did not feel genuine. But by the time we see him I had long checked out and did not care how the movie ended so long as it did. The plot was predictable if the sequence of events that got us there were not. While the train was a novel setting for post apocalyptic dystopian governmental overthrow the actual story wasn't.

Reply
Phil
3/24/2015 03:15:58 pm

Comment deleted

Reply
Bryan
3/24/2015 03:35:12 pm

"We can be very sure he’s had a large hand in shaping the education of the future of his train, and this is his choice – revisionist history and silly songs."

Spend a week in a rural American classroom and I doubt you'll think this is an isolated incident. Nationalism is being taught to impressionable school children across our country and nearly every other country on this planet.

Reply
Phil
3/24/2015 04:03:57 pm

How important is "nationalism" when there's only one nation left? Felt more like "cultism" to me.

Brian
3/24/2015 04:11:08 pm

A relic of government since the dawn of education.

Bryan
3/24/2015 04:13:59 pm

All forms of government do it. Heck, private corporations indoctrinate their employees as well.

Jon
3/24/2015 08:08:11 pm

Would you necessarily call it nationalism in American classrooms? I would say it's just easiest for teachers to reduce history to good guys and bad guys, and every person everywhere wants to think of themselves as the good guy.

Bryan
3/25/2015 04:38:08 am

I think you just defined nationalism.

Jon
3/25/2015 07:02:42 am

Nationalism implies a concerted effort by the state, which I don't think is the case in most places. I think that kind of teaching is more about how easy it is, and teachers are people who like to take the path of least resistance when possible, just like everyone else.

Sean
3/25/2015 08:18:40 am

Why is one of these comments from "Brian" and not "Bryan"

Bryan
3/25/2015 09:03:58 am

Can't spell my own name. Sweet.

Phil
3/25/2015 09:07:37 am

I was really hoping we had found our first random commenter.

Blair
3/26/2015 02:56:42 pm

Absolutely agree - the bugs are no big deal to me at all...This scene could have been so much more!

I mean come on, Curtis ate a baby!

Reply
Phil
3/24/2015 03:53:08 pm

“Snowpiercer” makes no sense on paper and definitely has issues, but it is such a triumph in world-building and class commentary that you can easily forgive its few faults. Early in the movie, I was a little worried; if it didn’t have the reputation it had earned, I may have been tempted to turn it off, as the beginning is a little slow and clunky. However, once you’re on that train, you’re all in. Snowpiercer is gritty, relentless, and has a ton of great action setpieces. Buried within this, we get an excellent commentary on society nestled within a greatly realized world.

The thing that really sticks out to me is that world-building. Snowpiercer gives itself a very difficult task: it sets out to convince its audience that a society can exist on a train. Somehow, it succeeds. While I didn’t particularly enjoy the beginning portion, it was interesting to see how this group lived, and I use the term “lived” pretty loosely here – “existed” might be a better word. The simplest thing like a drawing of a child is like gold to these people. Events like great “rebellions” that were likely nothing more than scuffles are recanted to the point that our lead, Curtis, has even used them to convince himself that bullets are “extinct.”

The use of the term “extinct” to describe objects is the most fascinating detail I grasped on. It gives the sense of finality to even inanimate objects and shows that the train is not a perfect, or even a competent, replacement for society. It also gives the impression that the society either does not have the facilities or the know-how to create a suitable replacement. I don’t think this is a coincidental thought either. The train society does seem to be representative of a meritocracy – this feels much more like a caste system, where positions were decided at “birth.” Granted, these positions were decided based on wealth at the time, but the idea that no one can rise above the back of the train unless they can be used a tool for those up front, whether it be a violinist for entertainment or a child to replace an “extinct” part, gives the impression that this is a society where no path form the back to the front or vice versa exists – you are born in your place, and you’ll die in your place.

However, that path can be seized, and that’s what sparks Curtis’ Revolution. Curtis is a natural leader doggedly focused on one goal: Get to the front. Nothing and no one else matters. Curtis seems like he may be a redeemable character until he sacrifices Edgar. From there, it’s clear he’s all in. There is no turning back.

Seeing the train through the eyes of Curtis and his group is relatable given it’s both of our first experience with it. Each car has its own interesting point, but the school car is not only the most entertaining, it’s also the most telling of what Wilford’s world vision is. We can be very sure he’s had a large hand in shaping the education of the future of his train, and this is his choice – revisionist history and silly songs. Wilford isn’t creating a society. He’s creating a cult. He’s the closest thing to a god humanity has ever had, and it’s not surprising that Wilford proves the old adage “absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Reply
Shane
3/24/2015 03:57:02 pm

Cult or not, at least Wilford's society lived. Curtis may have broken through the line, but he also destroyed 99% of humanity in the process. Why are Curtis's personal needs more important than the rest of society? They had a social agreement, to cast all social agreements aside without acknowledging repercussions could be disastrous.

Reply
Bryan
3/24/2015 04:10:08 pm

This comment is confusing to me, to what are you referencing?

Phil
3/24/2015 04:10:42 pm

They're not more important. I don't think I ever stated they were more important. I do think that Curtis knew the society was broken - there was nothing redeemable in that upper half of the train.

Before I comment on the "social agreement," could you just clarify what you mean there? I don't wanna ramble and not answer that part.

Bryan
3/24/2015 04:14:52 pm

The front had sushi and raves - the pinnacle of modern society.

Shane
3/24/2015 04:20:04 pm

If the point was survival, then the society wasn't broken. In fact, it was flourishing. So much so that they needed to cull people. The social agreement was that you cull from the back, not the front. It's controlled chaos rather than a situation like in The Lottery.

Jon
3/24/2015 05:51:06 pm

That is some 18th century conservative thinking that I look forward to getting into in my review. Vive le revolution!

Jon
3/24/2015 08:16:07 pm

Agreement implies mutual benefit. It also contains the assumption that nothing is worse than being dead. The back is trading the likelihood of being culled for a miserable and tenuous existence, and that's after having spent months in darkness without food and having to resort to murder and cannibalism, while the front gives up nothing for 'allowing' the back to be there.

Phil
3/25/2015 03:04:27 am

One thing we don't get a great amount of information about was the initial agreement on getting on the train for the people in the back. I don't think it was touched on b/c I don't think it was central to the movie's themes, but it would be much more interesting to me to know how this was sold (as Wilford obviously expected that this was going to be the new world forever) as opposed to how everyone stayed in shape in the back of the train.

Bryan
3/25/2015 04:33:12 am

Is this where we start the great prequel debate?

Phil
3/25/2015 05:36:42 am

A prequel would be pointless.

Bryan
3/25/2015 06:59:39 am

How dare you pre-judge a prequel?

Sean
3/25/2015 08:26:13 am

They were referred to as free-loaders so I imagine that a great train was being built in secret and information leaked of its existence to save the world. A few cars in the rear were then sacrificed for them as a means to protect the paying customers getting on through massive baricades while the riff raff rioted into the rear.

Joe
3/25/2015 06:40:20 pm

Did they really live? They were without freewill and were limited in their pursuits of happiness, or at least in their pursuit of exploring the possibility of happiness. Curtis in his proces only acted agressively towards those who engageed him. He left the rest of the passengers alone.

Phil
3/24/2015 03:53:35 pm

Wilford may seem like a modest man when he meet him finally, but he clearly had no problem cultivating a bombastic personality and propping himself up as a demigod. The closest corollary we have to Wilford in our world are the larger-than-life CEO’s and world leaders who sacrifice tomorrow to make themselves look like a hero. Think Lee Iacocca in the 1980’s and Bill Clinton in the 1990’s, enacting policies that made themselves heroes while leaving a potential catastrophe for their predecessors. Or, better yet, think Apple vs Google – Apple appears crippled, having been so reliant on a single man, Steve Jobs, for any meaningful innovation. Google has continued to foster an environment of creativity and is on the brink of overtaking Apple in the tech world. Wilford’s school is no more than a tool to prop up his legend.

Which is why when Curtis arrives at the end, he already knows the truth: this is a doomed society. Wilford offers him the lead, but he’s blinded by his own hatred refuses. However, the truth is, this a society not deserving of redemption, nor would it even know what to do with a second chance. We best see this when the partiers attack Namgoong and Yona. These are broken people, every last one of them. Wilford’s caste system is functionally broken, and even if it was Curtis and Namgoong who lit the fuse, it was Wilford himself, ultimately crafting a society built on resource sustainability but not societal sustainability, who blew it up.

There are a lot of worthy ideas worth discussing in this movie that I haven’t even began to touch on, which is why I loved it. It’s definitely not perfect, but I would absolutely deem it important and an excellent watch. That beginning is what ultimately keeps it out of A+ territory. Thanks for letting me ramble about this one Shane.

+ Well-realized world
+ Executes on high degree of difficulty
+ Interesting takes on society and leadership
- Beginning drags

Grade: A-

Reply
Bryan
3/24/2015 04:24:44 pm

For Drew's sake, I hope the survivors don't find a parallel train.

Snowpiercerer.

Reply
Drew
3/25/2015 02:44:26 am

Ha! Well played.

Reply
Phil
3/25/2015 05:39:34 am

Apparently in the actual graphic novel, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS:

http://www.amazon.com/SNOWPIERCER-VOL-2-THE-EXPLORERS/dp/1782761365/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y

Jon
3/24/2015 07:58:15 pm

Snowpiercer was not something I had heard of until the week of its release, but it's the kind of movie the market needs more of. Unique vision, established director branching out into new audiences, violence filmed seriously, all for $40 million, or the amount Man of Steel spent smashing up that IHOP. Not to mention it's an obscure, standalone property, something less and less common for the science-fiction or dystopian genres. That I was able to watch it last summer in Bloomington is a nice little reassurance that action movies can still surprise me and find small communities. A little faith in wide-release cinema is always appreciated.

Something I'm surprised Phil didn't mention in his review is how evocative of Bioshock Snowpiercer is. I mentioned this back in my Letterboxd review (shameless plug), but around the time they're walking through the aquarium car, I'm getting serious Rapture flashbacks. I don't know how many of you have played the game, but it takes place in a post-revolution underwater city run by an objectivist tyrant. There's plenty of class issues in that, too, plus novel uses for children's bodies and a twist on control. Both works share the same steampunk atmosphere, as well as the episodic segments. The classroom setting is straight out of a late-game level, the sketcher character is creating the equivalent of the game's many expositionary audio files, and the Snowpiercer clubs are nightmarish enough to easily fit into Rapture's world. This is the best video game movie that's ever been made by a wide margin, and it only loosely fits into that category.

That world-building is Snowpiercer's greatest asset, and while there are no doubt some holes, it's extremely well thought out. There's so many little touches, like the putty the guard puts on bullet holes in the glass or the way the children keep saying 'the whole wide train.' The populated areas of the front, particularly the club, hit on all the gross 1% stereotypes, such that I was pleased that all those characters would be dead soon. I don't think it asks too much of the viewer as far as suspension of disbelief goes, as geo-engineering is a very real field, and a perpetual motion engine is no greater a leap than something like time travel.

The world alone would be enough to keep Snowpiercer in the high-C's, but the characters that inhabit the world significantly elevate it further. I'll echo the blah-ness of John Hurt's character, and throw in the miscasting of Jaime Bell, long past the age where he can convincingly play a teenager and poorly written enough to where I didn't feel much at his death. Those two are outliers amidst a wealth of MMC supporting actor/actress candidates. I just watched Song Kang-ho, who played Minsu, in a different film, and that guy's got such an interesting face, I enjoy watching him just listen to a story about baby cannibalism (babalism? infantism?). His daughter, played by Go Ah-sung, is introduced yawn-burping, and it gets better from there, with the repeated shots of her from above with her hand out, requesting another block of kronole. Allison Pill kills it as the teacher, both an effective expositional vehicle and an example of the ecstatic esteem Wilford is held in. The way she twists her face when she is firing on Curtis et al is priceless. The two suit-clad bodyguards never say a word, but are so perfectly cast as Euro-trash assholes. I love the way they lean on each other during Mason's first speech. Finally, speaking of Mason, Tilda Swinton is absolutely phenomenal in the role, in total control of every muscle in her face as she works through her many tics and mannerisms. I just watched an episode of Bob's Burgers in which a giant hair clog is pulled out of a sink, and the character doing the pulling describes the smell as vile but you have to fill your lungs with it. That's Mason for me, a repulsive character that I cannot take my eyes off of.

Reply
Phil
3/25/2015 02:57:40 am

I didn't bring up Bioshock b/c I've never played Bioshock. Obviously I am very aware of Bioshock and the parallels are definitely there, but I don't know enough about Andrew Ryan to juxtapose him to Wilford or Rapture to Snowpiercer.

Reply
Jon
3/25/2015 07:03:53 am

That is surprising. $5 on Xbox Live. If you like Spec Ops: The Line's story, you'll find plenty to like there.

Phil
3/25/2015 08:38:54 am

FPS's just don't do it for me, so I skip 99% of them. Bioshock Infinite & Destiny are the only two FPS's I've played in the last 10 years.

Jon
3/24/2015 07:59:05 pm

That Bong Joon-ho is able to adapt these characters so well from the original comic book, fill (most) of the roles so well, create such novel looks for them, and then construct elaborate scenes and choreography for them to go through is a huge leap for the director. I've seen two of his other films, and they're both character dramas that revolve around a crime or series of crimes. There's nothing like the axe fight in either, though it is plenty reminiscent of producer Park Chan-Wook's work, particularly of Oldboy. I think Bong borrows from Park liberally and it's for the better. That axe scene is just crazy enough to fit in well with any of Park's other movies I've seen, who's flipping awesome at mind-blowing, brutally violent set pieces. As visceral as Snowpiercer is, it's oddly, counter-intuitively beautiful in plenty of places, too, something I'll credit to Bong's vision and cinematographer Hong Kyung-Pyo.

Short aside: I've always been deeply interested in French history between 1765 and 1871 because they went through three periods of true revolution in that one-hundred year stretch, and that's about the most interesting thing that can happen to a society, especially when observing from a safe remove. I'm currently listening to a weekly podcast about the first French Revolution, and it's just at the point where things are sliding into fascism and Terror. The most romantic of the revolutionaries of the Terror were determined to remake the human species itself, replacing gullibility with reason and weakness with virtue. They obviously failed, because those things are inherent to being human in the first place. To bring it back to Snowpiercer, the revolutionaries here are determined to take over the train and not just fall back onto Wilford's methods once they succeed. However, the most interesting part of Snowpiercer, for me, is the idea that the world is not worth saving. Let's pretend Curtis takes over the engine, and the back of the train becomes the front. All their desires to not become like Wilford and Mason and their be-suited goons will quickly disappear and they'll fall into old patterns. They'll brutally purge the dissenters and the displaced like all revolutions eventually do, because their resources are limited and the new losers will know what it was like to be winners, and vice versa. What is the value in being a cog in a corrupt, dehumanizing system? Is there a point where preservation is not the best choice? I do love that security is traded for freedom, instead of the other way around. It's a real chance at the end for humanity to truly start over, even though the most likely scenario, by far, is that the species goes extinct. I, for one, welcome our new polar bear overlords.

All that said, I am going to come down one partial grade from my initial viewing, where I gave it an A-. My frustration with the Jamie Bell character was more pronounced here, and the ending scenario, a major part of which revolves around climbing outside temperatures, seemed like something Wilford should be aware of, and allowing those in the back the chance to leave would surely be cleaner than these planned insurrections. Get on the intercom, tell everyone it's warmer outside, and say those who want to go can go. I'm sure many would take the chance. Maybe there's some hand-waving excuse why this wouldn't work, like the engine can't be shut off or something, but it was something in my head during this viewing. It just didn't feel like an A-level movie this time around, likely because the novelty had worn off. Still, plenty of full characters, thought-provoking themes, memorable lines (Precisely 74% of you shall die), and a unique and thorough world ensure Snowpiercer lands comfortably at a B+.

Reply
Phil
3/25/2015 03:01:40 am

"However, the most interesting part of Snowpiercer, for me, is the idea that the world is not worth saving.... What is the value in being a cog in a corrupt, dehumanizing system? Is there a point where preservation is not the best choice?"

We are of a mind here. This was essentially the crux of my argument for the ending as well. Wilford's system is irreedemable and these people are unrepairable.

Reply
Shane
3/25/2015 01:55:08 pm

Didn't America have an uglier history? If not America, certainly Western culture. Slavery, genocide, etc. Hell, look at Germany. 60 years ago they were murderjmg their own citizens for only a belief. Wilford is at least culling people for balance survival/reasons.

Blair
3/26/2015 03:21:17 pm

Me too.

I'm glad I can finally read everything - the formatting changed! Thanks (Bryan??)!!

Phil
3/25/2015 02:24:08 am

I forgot a crucial comment in my review. Any movie that can pass off the line "I know babies taste the best" and not make me laugh hysterically at the lunacy of the statement automatically falls into A territory. Sorry, but a man's gotta have a code.

Reply
Sean
3/25/2015 08:39:03 am

To be fair, I've always assumed babies would taste the best if I was to go the cannibalism route.

Reply
Phil
3/25/2015 09:06:45 am

There's a reason people call babies "The Human Filet" after all. (Not "The Human Veal"... b/c veal doesn't taste that good.)

Drew
3/25/2015 02:44:50 am

I enjoyed it.

Grade: A

Reply
Phil
3/25/2015 02:55:53 am

Website eat your review Mr. Landry?

Reply
Shane
3/25/2015 01:52:17 pm

Feel better?

Reply
Bryan
3/25/2015 05:03:13 am

Shane,

Is there an Asian version of this somewhere?

Reply
Shane
3/25/2015 01:52:54 pm

This is the Asian (only) version.

Reply
Sean
3/25/2015 08:06:56 am

44 comments already, holy hell. I'll be brief with my own thoughts then reply in snippets after reading you assholes.

2nd viewing on Snowpiercer. Viewing 1 I watched on the iPad and gave it a B+. I was hopeful the badassery would get better on the big screen. And while it was easier to see and better looking, I focused more on the things I didn't like about it.

1-how long is this train, assuming there are all of these rich people not living in squalor where are those living cars? Do they just rave and get high all day and night and only need a sauna and a rave car? If so why bother brainwashing the children about Wilford and his engine. If they do have living cars that are comfortable for people how long is the train, I'm thinking it's miles long which makes walking end to end while severly injured difficult.

First viewing, pretty aquarium, sushi huh? 2nd viewing hey that's a metaphor- how bout that.

Maybe they didn't need quite that much Kronole for the door of the train, like maybe just a hit or two would've opened the door without killing thousands? how many people are on the train?

I feel like the conceptual flaw of the movie is that it clearly wants you to think about class systems and the #newbusiness injustices out there, while hoping you ignore thinking about the logistics of creating a train capable of spanning the globe and you know laying down tracks and having it be capable of super high speeds without jumping track and elements not fucking with your tracks/bridges to much to destroy the whole operation, you know things like that.

I'm gonna stick with my B+ though because it was entertaining as hell.

Reply
Sean
3/25/2015 08:20:24 am

I remembered what I texted Kissel during the first scene the first time I watched it.

This movie is based on fucking "Chemtrails" being a real thing.

I just knocked myself to a B

Reply
Phil
3/25/2015 09:05:26 am

Since last time my discussion of the importance of supporting characters went over with gangbusters, I want to bring up another random topic that keeps coming up and I don't understand why it's such a big deal. This week's random annoyance is "suspension of belief."

I'm going to evoke a movie none of you saw coming, a personal guilty pleasure of mine - Pacific Rim. The whole crux of that movie is predicated on telling the audience "Look, there are a bunch of monsters, and the only way we can fight em is a bunch of kick ass robots that need two pilots!" Does it matter how you get there? Not if you entertain the shit out me.

Which brings us to Snowpiercer...

Why are they on a train?!
How do they stay in shape?!
Why would they even let the freeloaders on?!

My answer: WHO CARES?! It's entertaining and gets a point across.

Now, would I prefer some exposition? Even a throwaway line? Sure. But ultimately, it doesn't significantly affect my enjoyment of the movie. It just feels nitpicky.

Reply
Bryan
3/25/2015 11:19:37 am

I care. Fixation on tiny plot holes is incredibly irritating. It's not fun, but it happens.

Reply
Phil
3/26/2015 03:56:08 am

I'm going to really "derail" this now (Nailed it). Didn't you give Major League an A or A+? If we wanna talk plot holes, explain just ANYTHING about Willie Mays Hayes.

Phil
3/26/2015 03:58:03 am

Didn't you give Major League an A or A+? If you hate plot holes, then explain how Willie Mays Hayes makes any sense.

Blair
3/25/2015 01:34:17 pm

Wow. Well, as Shane mentioned, one of my main take aways, was that this film was anything but predictable.

First - I haven't read any other reviews, other than Shane's since he and I watched it together and discussed it afterward...I'm not sure if I should or not, what people usually do...anyway...

I missed the first 5 minutes and jumped in with serious and solemn Curtis and his red haired side kick spouting some stupid banter (that was a lot of alliteration!). For the next 5+ minutes I thought the movie was going to be super dumb. I thought the red haired character was unrealistic - why was he asking so many questions about "the plan" when it was clear he was Curtis' bff and confidant. Also, he was just really annoying to me.

Then, Tilda shows up. The film took a turn for me here. I love everything about the way she looks, her speech, her mannerisms. I thought she was great throughout. Her monologue as the dude freezes his arm off about how everyone has a place and especially her hand/arm movement that mimicked Timmy's hand movement in the engine foreshadowed or maybe that's not the best word, since I thought nothing about the film was predictable, maybe mirrors is better (??) the last scene with Wilson. Her comfortable interaction with Gilliam was a nod as well, but I didn't equate it to anything but their years on the train together.

From here on out, I was sold; I was totally engaged every new scene and intrigued by what could come next.

The question that I keep coming back to is, "at what cost?" I think Shane hits on a major theme - the dichotomy of Eastern and Western cultures. In my mind the film could have been a critique of both. Eastern cultural value - you are a part of group - no one single person is so important; the needs of the group trump that of one individual. Opposed to the Western ideals of individualism; achievement, ambition, etc. Made me think of this blog series Ashli showed me on "parenting around the world" - specifically in Norway.

Anyway, at the end I kept going back and forth, which way was better? At what cost is it better to keep living? A society where you'll have to cut off an arm to ensure that people won't eat babies or peers? Where little children are cramped into tiny spaces to work a machine and presumably die thereafter (or at least that's what I assumed). Where people eat bug gelatin? (this part didn't bother me at all, actually - I mean, if it's all you've got, whatever, feast away on bugs! But, I did think it was a good contrast with the sushi scene!) Oh yes, and all of this is because there must be poor people that are below others, who have poor babies and they must continue to stay poor because there is absolutely no chance for upward mobility. Is this the right cost for then ALL to live? At least they are living is what the movie says.

OR, is there somehow a better way? While I'm not totally sold on Gilliam actually being a part of Wilson's plan (he does tell Curtis to cut his tongue out first - and then what would have happened?? Was he just ashamed of what he did, so he didn't want Wilson to share it? Or did Wilson just make the whole thing up?) - I'm not sure it matters, anyway. Wilson is right - the whole thing blows up and most everyone dies. I loved his nonchalant, "nice," he says before the explosion; he doesn't care that no one will survive, he's about to die anyway and he's done his part.

The ending - the girl and boy survive and there is a polar bear, surviving. There is hope in the end for me. I guess I'll embrace my culture, despite knowing that capitalist America does not have it all right, I think at least for me, I would rather blow it all up than just live into whatever place I was given - because even if you are in first class, everyone was either brainwashed or addicted. At least there is freedom and hope and some autonomy- and they may not survive, that was clear, but for me that's the cost.

Grade, A-. I was going to give it a B+, but I think this might be the most I've written and it provoked some good discussion and thought.

Reply
Blair
3/25/2015 01:40:56 pm

HA! Wilford, not Wilson.

Reply
Joe
3/25/2015 07:02:53 pm

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EsOHk0JuHuY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Joe
3/25/2015 06:29:35 pm

I was pretty much over the film by this point, but I'll be damned if I didn't start laughing at that fucking polar bear scene. I wanted him to offer a nice refreshing coke to the 2 poor minority kids so bad. Such a lame scene.

Reply
Sean
3/25/2015 03:04:59 pm

maybe the first class folks have become addicted to Kronole as a coping mechanism to what they have realized is their life and the lives of others. The children don't know any different so they can be brainwashed, the adults have experienced normal life and know they'll never return to it so they get high.

Reply
Blair
3/26/2015 03:27:06 pm

I don't disagree...but I still don't think it's a place that's worth living.

As Phil said, "Wilford's system is irreedemable and these people are unrepairable."

Reply
Joe
3/25/2015 06:15:12 pm

What a studpid clunker of a fucking movie.

I was really excited to watch this trainwreck (nailed it?) based on the cool idea of one existent train traveling around the world in a dystopian society. Then I realized Chris Evans has the lead role. Now don't get me wrong about Chris Evans, he seems like a great guy that cares about his craft. But he should probably stick to the red white and blue gear for the time being. His scene at the end where he inexplicably starts fighting the only man who can open the door is so stupid. It's like the writers were all like "Lets bring this bitch full circle by telling the audience that Chris thinks babies taste best, but he came down from his blood lust for survival because an old man snipped a limb for him to gnaw on. Yeah, and then instead of eating a baby Curtis nurtures the poor motherless thing and becomes it's hero. Then when the grown baby needs him most, Curtis turns his bac on him to go chasing a non combatant with no real power. Audience will love that shit."

Then they introduce Ed Harris, who I think is fantastic. They show a great scene with the clean, aging Harris standing behind Curtis, young, dirty, and spattered with blood. Both share striking blue eyes, and the imagary couldn't be more forthcoming...THE TRAIN IS YOURS NOW! Whatever. The scene lost me when we see Tommy and Michael doing their thing, which clearly debunks the bullshit line stated just minutes previously; "Curtis, you are the first person to ever travel the length of the train."

The movie pretty much explains nothing. Has dudes appaerently rise from the dead. And nobody thought to put an external thermometer on the fucking train? Plot holes everywher, but hey, sushi twice a year and if being stuck in a tin box for your entire life gets you down, just go to the rave cart which is directly adjacent to the orgy cart. Yet, it's the rear of the cart that is good at reproducing...

All that said, the movie was fun with some cool visuals. Shitty fight scenes though, particuarly when the Key Master (Who really gives a shit what his name is) is fighting off a shit ton of ravers who want to sniff his drug bomb. I'll put this in my Dessert Category, meaning its probably not good for you to watch, and has little redeeming value, but fuck it, if you put it in front of me I'll prolly eat it.

Were looking at a C. I might bump it up just because Tilda was pretty awesome, but I'm feeling pretty comfortable with my C at this time.

Reply
Joe
3/25/2015 06:22:21 pm

The more I think about this movie, the more it reminds of Gangs of New York. Especially with the dipping the ax into the fish scene. Yeah, this is a shitty post apocalyptic version of Gangs of New York.

Reply
Shane
3/26/2015 01:45:09 am

We're in agreeance that Gangs is amazing, right?

Phil
3/26/2015 03:53:02 am

Your review reads like D. The fact that you gave it a C and could be talked up given that text blows my mind.

Reply
Joe
3/26/2015 04:11:23 am

It was a fun movie to watch with really awesome color and visual appeal.

Reply
Sean
3/26/2015 07:16:32 am

Take 2
shit balls cock
sacbutter

Reply
Drew
3/27/2015 05:43:38 am

Agree with Phil on Joe's review.

Reply
Cooker
4/18/2015 06:02:21 pm

I apparently didn’t read the synopsis of this one. I don’t know why, but what I saw was not what I was expecting.

I really liked the concept, but any “global warming” story needs Al Gore or ManBearPig to be complete. No, really, I thought the concept was intriguing.

That was a pretty long ass train. It reminded me of that stage in Goldeneye on N64. I was very confused the whole movie about why things were so different between the two ends of the train. I’m glad that question was answered. I liked the story and not meaning to sound like a dick, but I liked that characters on the good side got killed. Lord of the Rings always bothered me for that reason. As the rebels continued through the train, I really got this wtf attitude. After seeing the horrible conditions of those living in the end cars, you get to dance clubs, spas. How was the aquarium even possible?

The story carried along nice enough. Some of the scenes, like the classroom one, seemed out of place or slowed things down. The conclusion of that scene was a surprise though.

I’m not sure how I felt about the ending. Did they find the polar bear from Lost? Are they now on the island? Is this some kind of parallel universe? All I know is that had M. Night Shyamalan directed this, the train would’ve landed at the base of a ski resort, the survivors would’ve been greeted by downhill racers and we would’ve learned that there was nothing wrong with the world in the first place. Grade: B

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Authors

    JUST SOME IDIOTS GIVING SURPRISINGLY AVERAGE MOVIE REVIEWS.

    Categories

    All
    2017 Catch Up Trio
    80s
    Action
    Adventure
    AI Trio
    Author - Blair
    Author - Bobby
    Author - Bryan
    Author - Chris
    Author - Cook
    Author - Drew
    Author - Joe
    Author - Jon
    Author - JR
    Author - Lane
    Author - Phil
    Author - Pierce
    Author - Sean
    Author - Shane
    Author - Tom
    Best Of 2016
    Best Of 2017
    Best Of 2018
    Best Of 2019
    Best Of 2020
    Best Of 2021
    Best Of 2022
    Comedy
    Culture Clash Trio
    Denzel Trio
    Documentary
    Drama
    Foreign
    Historical
    Horror
    Internet Docs Trio
    Mediocrities
    Movie Trios
    Musical
    Podcast
    Romance
    Round 3.1
    Round 3.2
    Round 3.3
    Round 4.1
    Round 4.2
    Round 4.3
    Sci Fi
    Season 10
    Season 2
    Season 3
    Season 4
    Season 5
    Season 6
    Season 7
    Season 8
    Season 9
    Shorts
    Sports
    Thriller
    Western
    Women In Men's Worlds

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014

    Click to set custom HTML