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sharknado

7/29/2014

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0.96
D

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So this movie. I know you all are going to rip it apart (much like a shark ripping through the top of a pick up truck or a man cutting a shark in half with a chainsaw), but before you do...maybe i can give you a few things to consider.

Movies like this should most definitely be watched (preferably with a friend or someone you can laugh with) and taken for exactly what they are. Campy, hilarious, ridiculous, hot messes of movies. If you go into it with no expectations other than to laugh your ass off at the horrible CGI, the random, narcissistic portraits of Tara Reid on the wall and the insane plot line, I really believe it can be enjoyed.

Shane and I actually watched this one together while attempting to get Geoffrey to sleep. Much like his namesake, he seemed to thoroughly enjoy the movie (he told me himself- he's very advanced) and insisted on staying awake for almost all of it. Watching a movie like this with a friend really ups the entertainment value. Who wants to laugh at a man cutting his way out of a shark with a chainsaw alone? Not me, that's for sure.

I hate to admit (no I don't, who am I kidding?) that this is not the first SyFy movie I've experienced. Geoff had a certain affection for these sorts of movies, and his love of them grew on me. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus comes to mind right off the bat. And last night, while flipping through the channels, I happened upon Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (which I watched a few minutes of, purely for research purposes, of course). When compared to some of it's predecessors, Sharknado really isn't that ridiculous. Sure, it features not just one tornado, but two, full of sharks (which none of the main characters seem to be that shocked by...). But, in terms of campiness...it really doesn't reach the high level of some of the others I've seen. All in all, I'm not sure why this particular SyFy gem made the splash (zing!) it did on social media. It got 5,000 tweets per minute during it's premiere, including this relevant gem: "Twenty minutes in and we FINALLY have Tara Reid. They held her out like Brando in "Apocalypse Now". Is it the casting- who knew Tara Reid and an old 90210 star had such a big draw- or did they just do a better job of promoting this one? I personally saw the poster back in late 2011 and remember sending a screen shot to Matt (Geoff's best friend) and Christopher (his brother) proclaiming that this movie seemed to be right up Geoff's alley. We lamented about just how much he would have enjoyed it. Perhaps SyFy is just upping their game with promotional materials. Kind of wish they would have spent a few of those marketing dollars on some more advanced CGI, but hindsight is 20/20. Wonder if Sharknado 2 will have better graphics due to the crazy amount of money they made on the first one. Who doesn't want to see yet another movie with sharks bursting out of tornadoes? Don't answer that- I know you're all going to raise your hands. 

I can go ahead and pick apart the ridiculousness of the plot line but I really don't need to. A few key points...just because I feel like I have to for the sake of the review...that opening scene. While hilarious (why are these 2 men shooting at each other on a boat in the middle of a storm that will surely kill them both?)- it literally had nothing to do with the rest of the movie. Not a single thing. Ian Ziering seems to have some magical super power as he is the ONLY person in the ocean not losing a limb while the sharks storm the beach. Also, who knew that all you had to do to stop a tornado was drop a bomb into the middle of it to equalize the meeting of hot and cold air? Bet meteorologists around the world could sure learn a lot from this movie. And what are the odds that Fin (how ironic is that name) would end up in the belly of the EXACT SAME SHARK as the chick that fell out of the helicopter?! There had to be hundreds of sharks in those tornadoes, so I just call that fate. Are the son and the "girlfriend" of Fin going to hook up now? That's an awkward and unnecessary twist.

Tara Reid is a hot hot mess. Like seriously terrible. And she had the nerve to call one of the other characters a stripper. Hilarious. I actually saw an interview with Ian Ziering and Tara Reid in which they both said that when they received the script for the movie, it was titled "Dark Skies." The producers knew that they would have to put it under a different title in order to get anyone to even ready the script. Ian Ziering agreed simply b/c he was having a second child and needed the money. Once he found out the real title of the movie, he called his agent immediately and asked for a WAY OUT. Bet he's glad that request was not granted. Not really relevant to this review, but an interesting little fact nonetheless.

All in all I hope you at least got a good laugh out of Sharknado. Kissel- I'm pretty sure you did not as I recall vividly watching a movie similar to this at Dave Knox's house one summer with you and Geoff and seeing the actual pain you were in experiencing something of this low caliber. Don't worry- I know you're coming to visit this weekend and I've filled my DVR with so many gems for you. Between that and Fender's incessant forearm biting, I'm sure you'll have a wonderful visit.

My grade? I did have this at C...but I'm going C+. I enjoyed it and feel it deserves to at least be a full letter grade higher than the train wreck that is Tomb Raider (gross).

Have at it like a shark eating that poor girl's grandfather when she was a kid (she really HATES sharks).

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