2.04 | *1 *2 *3 |
As I sat down to write this, I was listening the Adam Carolla Show and they're playing the Rotten Tomatoes Game. For those not familiar, a Rotten Tomatoes guy comes by, gives five movies and everyone has to guess the Tomato score. I like to play along. They brought up Tommy Boy, a movie I'd guess we all enjoy. Sure, it's not art, but it's hilarious, quotable and doesn't pretend to be something its not. Tommy Boy is a 44% on Rotten Tomatoes. 44%. That is ridiculous. People need to just appreciate certain movies for what they are, not what they aren't.
The first Machete is right up Tommy Boy's alley of not trying to be art, though obviously not on the same level. It's a comedy first, action movie second and is mocks action movies well enough that it's not just a Wayans Brothers parody. The first Machete's Rotten Tomatoes score is 72%. I think that's about right. And if Machete is a 72, then Tommy Boy should be about an 80.
So what is Machete Kills' score? A rotten 29%. Ouch. Is this movie a 80? No. But I think it's closer to an 80 than a 20.
So what's going on here? Well, everything that mainstream audiences love in action movies. Ridiculous action scenes, hilarious death scenes and a convoluted plot-line that doesn't even bother to tie itself together at the end. I'll be damned if I didn't laugh my ass off as those things became more and more ridiculous. There is serious physical humor here from Danny Trejo. Does it get a little old? Sure. But I still kept laughing because this movie was never meant to be taken seriously. It's making fun of itself and every other action movie, kind of like a poor man's Team America. (And let's not act like the plot and action scenes are any less probable or ridiculous as any of the Transformers movies.)
Things that were mindlessly awesome:
Carlos Esteban as the President. Is he scummy? Is he a patriot? Can he be trusted. I say Yes, yes, and yes!
Throwing the clones intestines into the helicopter. Just fantastic.
Damian Bichir as Mendez. His performance was fantastic for a character that could have been a complete throw-away.
Every El Camaleon character except Lady Gaga was pretty awesome and would belong in any summer blockbuster action flick. Lady Gaga remains boring.
The trailer for Machete Kills Again... In Space. God yes.
This is the exact role Michelle Rodriguez was born to play. Nothing challenging and you actually buy her as a chick who could fight and is a bit crazy. Drives me nuts when TV shows and movies expect you to buy that Sandra Bullock could fight somebody. Looking forward to eyeless Rodriguez in Space.
Someone is killed by a tiara. If God was just, then anyone involved in the creation or support of Toddlers and Tiaras should enjoy the same fate.
It's also amazing how many celebrities wanted to be in this flick.
Danny Trejo. How can you not love the guy? His physical presence goes a long, long way and he carries it throughout the movie.
One critic says this is entirely and inside joke. I think that's a positive because the joke is on Hollywood and pretentious critics. It's an inside joke making fun of some asshole like that. Just because you don't get a joke, doesn't mean it's not funny.
So what's bad here?
Well, there's not much new if you watched the first movie. As I said above, it got a bit old. "Machete Kills, yeah, but he overkills," said one critic. Sure. I can buy that.
Mel Gibson... I just wasn't buying him. He's just too likeable outside of his whole racism issues. You get Liam Neeson for that role and BAM. Home run.
The plot definitely gets away from them. I only had 3 beers while watching, but ended up a bit confused.
Sofia Vergara is a terrible actress. I don't even find her -that- attractive. (Compared to other Hollywood people. Of course if I saw her at the pool right now, I'd be attempting to hide my wiener in my wet shorts.)
So, time for a grade. I remember my first experience with Robert Rodriguez. It was From Dusk Til Dawn. The first half of that movie had me hooked. It was a good movie. Then, BAM!, goddamn vampires. I was disappointed. But then I watched that movie again and enjoyed it more when I could appreciate it for what it is. Someone taking Machete Kills seriously would give it a D or an F. But I think you'd be trying too hard.
C+/B-
The first Machete is right up Tommy Boy's alley of not trying to be art, though obviously not on the same level. It's a comedy first, action movie second and is mocks action movies well enough that it's not just a Wayans Brothers parody. The first Machete's Rotten Tomatoes score is 72%. I think that's about right. And if Machete is a 72, then Tommy Boy should be about an 80.
So what is Machete Kills' score? A rotten 29%. Ouch. Is this movie a 80? No. But I think it's closer to an 80 than a 20.
So what's going on here? Well, everything that mainstream audiences love in action movies. Ridiculous action scenes, hilarious death scenes and a convoluted plot-line that doesn't even bother to tie itself together at the end. I'll be damned if I didn't laugh my ass off as those things became more and more ridiculous. There is serious physical humor here from Danny Trejo. Does it get a little old? Sure. But I still kept laughing because this movie was never meant to be taken seriously. It's making fun of itself and every other action movie, kind of like a poor man's Team America. (And let's not act like the plot and action scenes are any less probable or ridiculous as any of the Transformers movies.)
Things that were mindlessly awesome:
Carlos Esteban as the President. Is he scummy? Is he a patriot? Can he be trusted. I say Yes, yes, and yes!
Throwing the clones intestines into the helicopter. Just fantastic.
Damian Bichir as Mendez. His performance was fantastic for a character that could have been a complete throw-away.
Every El Camaleon character except Lady Gaga was pretty awesome and would belong in any summer blockbuster action flick. Lady Gaga remains boring.
The trailer for Machete Kills Again... In Space. God yes.
This is the exact role Michelle Rodriguez was born to play. Nothing challenging and you actually buy her as a chick who could fight and is a bit crazy. Drives me nuts when TV shows and movies expect you to buy that Sandra Bullock could fight somebody. Looking forward to eyeless Rodriguez in Space.
Someone is killed by a tiara. If God was just, then anyone involved in the creation or support of Toddlers and Tiaras should enjoy the same fate.
It's also amazing how many celebrities wanted to be in this flick.
Danny Trejo. How can you not love the guy? His physical presence goes a long, long way and he carries it throughout the movie.
One critic says this is entirely and inside joke. I think that's a positive because the joke is on Hollywood and pretentious critics. It's an inside joke making fun of some asshole like that. Just because you don't get a joke, doesn't mean it's not funny.
So what's bad here?
Well, there's not much new if you watched the first movie. As I said above, it got a bit old. "Machete Kills, yeah, but he overkills," said one critic. Sure. I can buy that.
Mel Gibson... I just wasn't buying him. He's just too likeable outside of his whole racism issues. You get Liam Neeson for that role and BAM. Home run.
The plot definitely gets away from them. I only had 3 beers while watching, but ended up a bit confused.
Sofia Vergara is a terrible actress. I don't even find her -that- attractive. (Compared to other Hollywood people. Of course if I saw her at the pool right now, I'd be attempting to hide my wiener in my wet shorts.)
So, time for a grade. I remember my first experience with Robert Rodriguez. It was From Dusk Til Dawn. The first half of that movie had me hooked. It was a good movie. Then, BAM!, goddamn vampires. I was disappointed. But then I watched that movie again and enjoyed it more when I could appreciate it for what it is. Someone taking Machete Kills seriously would give it a D or an F. But I think you'd be trying too hard.
C+/B-
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