Mediocre Movie Club Movie Reviews

Four Rooms

4/16/2015

1.89
C

It's usually hit or miss with child actors, and we get a couple of hits here. - Bobby
[The main character] just doesn’t feel like the same person from scene to scene. - Phil
[The speech] is so well argued that even a subpar actor like Tarantino can sell it. - Jon

Initial review by: Bobby

So... I chose this because I thought it'd be interesting to talk about a movie with 4 directors. I don't know how interesting the conversation will be, but I'm glad I picked Four Rooms.

First off, the opening credits amuse me. While the quick bellhop snippet to start the movie doesn't really do much but make you wonder what you're about to get into, the animated adventures are fun.

I'm not even sure what the best way to go about reviewing Four Rooms is... so to be easy, I'll briefly talk about each story in order.

"The Missing Ingredient" gives us a coven of witches looking to perform breast filled ritual in the honeymoon sweet led by Valeria Golina, of Hot Shots fame. This, for me, is the weakest part of the movie, but I actually still enjoyed it. Most of the acting is pretty weak, but I do like Lili Taylor (as I just started a rewatch of Six Feet Under). Maybe it's the over the top dramatic reactions they all have before Ted is left with Eva to... 'make her smile.' Roth's mannerisms work for me, but I can see some people not liking how exaggerated he can be here. Still, the story and dialogue here are mediocre, but I think Roth and placing this story first keeps it from being as bad as it could have been. Madonna seemed unnecessary here... as in, she's not a strong actress here and probably cost too much.

After a quick call for ice, Theodore finds "The Wrong Man" with Angela and Sigfried. David Proval plays a good crazy and plays well with Roth and Beals here. I like this one... from Teddy's moment of courage and quick monologue about his name to his swift return to his nervous self. The music really gets into the act as he tries to make his way out the window, and I'm for it. The dynamic between Sigfriend and Angela works here, and it's great at freaking Ted out... which is when he's at his best. Also, I like the quick turn around to Sigfried's greeting to their game... "Let's not belabor the fact that you have no sense of timing. The fact is, you're here."

Champagne to 309... seems appropriate to celebrate the strongest story of the film. Banderas and Tomita's kids, "The Mishavers", are an absolute riot. We get a glimpse early of how they'll be when Juancho takes a few quick puffs of the cigarette while getting his scalp ripped back. Banderas is strong, but that's expected, right? The negotiation of the price is a fantastic bit... and the scene only gets better from there. It's usually hit or miss with child actors... and we get a couple of hits here. Lana McKissack's tone and expressions are fantastic throughout, and she works great with Danny Verduzco. Salma Hayek dancing on the TV is a welcome bonus! Again, the music is in strong support of the mood we get from these two. I'm a fan of Rodriguez (El Mariachi series, Planet Terror, Machete), but he's not one from which you usually expect a bunch of slap stick comedy with children... although, I haven't seen any of the Spy Kids. He does, however, direct it brilliantly. I found myself legit laughing multiple times all the way up to the ridiculously chaotic and perfect end to the scene.

Factoid, back in the day... Marissa Tomei was my (and tons of others', for sure) celeb crush. Thanks, Cousin Vinny. Rumor has it she likes short stocky balding men.

It's nice to see Angela again, sans Sigfried...and more so..Bruce Willis! You've got to like uncredited roles, especially when they're done for free and get you in trouble with the Guild! (That's an unsourced Wiki fact, so who knows if it's true, but it's fun). Tarantino is "The Man From Hollywood" as he directs and stars in the final segment. We get a pretty familiar feel for anybody who's seen a few of his flicks.. especially heavy on dialogue. While this isn't as strong as Rodriguez's contribution, I really enjoyed this as Ted's final room. We all know Tarantino isn't a strong actor.. but his playing a caricature here works fine here. The rest of the room plays into the bit well.. but the success rests mostly on the dialogue and setup for the chop. For me, the dialogue is a win and it's held up by the ad lib and money drunk type feel that Chester gives us. The one thing that bothered me about this was the choice of camera work to start the scene. It felt as if it was supposed to be first person from Ted's view...but it obviously wasn't as Chester kept looking back and forth to the camera and away.. which is supposed where Ted actually was. I don't know why, but that just got to me. It wasn't enough to take much away from the overall product, though.

Another unsourced Wiki fact is that Linklater was supposed to be a part of this. This sounds less likely than the Willis bit, but I think it would have been pretty interesting to see what kind of situation he threw at Ted!

Speaking of Ted... in the end, this is the Tim Roth show. You're either into his over the top mannerisms or you're not... and the movie will likely sink quickly for you if it's the latter, especially starting off with the weakest of segments. I could see some people being so low on the film so quick, that it's hard to come back from. With that, the 14% on RT doesn't surprise me. Without a cohesive plot, I can see it being easy to dislike Four Rooms. For me, however, a night in the life of Ted the Bellhop is pure entertainment. We get to see a lot of moods from Ted, and after all the shit he deals with, we get to send him off in a well deserved good mood. The body language and tone in his voice were the major keys for me in liking Roth's performance. He doesn't hold back and doesn't try to make any of us think he's supposed to be any less than all out and all over the place.

Overall, this lives by the cliches, it's not how you start, but how you finish. I think the order of rooms is instrumental to how I favor the movie.

It's probably been a decade since I've watched this... so when I put my initial grade on the spreadsheet a while ago, I was trying to recall how i felt after... and going into the movie this time, I really thought I was going to be lowering that grade. Despite the weak start, some iffy acting, and general scatteredness, here I am... still feeling absolutely positive about another viewing and can't shake the feeling of... A-

38 Comments

Sean

4/15/2015 06:19:56 pm

I'm more on board with the 14% than Bobby. Four Rooms is mostly a wreck.

Opening animation was cute but too long.

The witches scene was stupid. I chuckled as they were adding their key ingredients into the cauldron and she said she swallowed, you'd think she'd have mentioned that earlier and not let them start the ceremony. Nice boobs too. Otherwise, C-/D+

The Wrong Man is only mildly better because David Proval plays a pretty solid crazy person C/C-

The Misbehavors I flip flop as to my feelings. The girl was ok but the boy sucked- can't expect too much out of them though. It was the most ridiculous scene of the 4 and it probably would've been stronger had the other 3 been as ridiculous or if it had been a little less ridiculous. That's what you get with 4 writers/directors. I'm thinking based on Roths performance throughout that the original intention may have been to make it more ridiculous on the whole but the 4 directors had different personal definitions of how far to go. C/C+

The Man from Hollywood is definitely the best scene of the 4, I think I even liked the phone call with Marissa Tomei and Kathy Griffin more than the other 3 rooms. Whereas I just mentioned I think the intention was to be even sillier it was the strongest scene for me because it was the most realistic to me even considering they were betting with a finger on the line. By far the best moment was Tarantino's 1 minute sales pitch to Ted. Great choice by Tarantino by not milking it and letting Norman fail on try number 10, it worked much better failing on the first attempt and no hesitation on the chop. Still the scene wasn't very good until they went to check out the cart Ted brought up for them with their supplies. B

Overall I'm in the camp that didn't enjoy Roth's exaggerations in the way he moved and talked and twisted his face. The whole time, based mostly on Roth I kept thinking this would work better as a play. The exaggerations work much better on stage than on screen and I think the scenes could transition pretty easily with minimal set changing on stage, dim the lights briefly alter the decor as the music from the opening animation plays and you're all set. Because I kept thinking of that I couldn't help also thinking of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Similarly uses a lot of silliness and exaggerated acting but DRS was a single coherent movie from start to finish and was led by the superb chemistry of Steve Martin and Michael Caine. DRS was later adapted into a musical and was pretty damn funny. I think 4 Rooms would be better served with a movie to the stage and some tweaking to give it more continuity in direction. That'll probably never happen because the movie sucked.

Final grade C

Phil

4/16/2015 12:53:00 am

I believe it's in my review that I wrote last week, but I agree completely that this should be a stage play. Would have been much more entertaining in that venue.

4/16/2015 12:54:10 am

How do you review a movie like “Four Rooms?” That’s easy. With four reviews!

The Missing Ingredient

This already wasted 20 minutes of my life. I’m not wasting much more on it. The “humor” was terrible, the story was silly, and Madonna has a “what the fuck am I doing with my life” look on her face 75% of the time. Were the animations supposed to add humor? We are not off to a good start. Grade: F

The Wrong Man

There’s some enjoyable stuff here. The opening zoom shots and several of the panning shots are great. The story is pretty silly and doesn’t really go anywhere, but Ted gets some solid stuff here, and Angela gets some good lines in. “Everyone starts as strangers, Ted. It’s where we end up that counts” is a great line. Ultimately, the parts wind up greater than the whole though. Grade: C

The Misbehavers

This was probably my favorite segment. There’s a lot of relatable childhood stuff here. Who doesn’t remember having their parents combing through the knots in their hair? Brutal. I love how Antonio (his character is unnamed, so I’ll just use his real name) just forces his kids to get ready for no reason. Again, harkening back to childhood, we all know of those instances where our parents made us do something for reasons beyond our comprehension. This one was done moreso for exaggeration, but the message sticks. The kids themselves are fine enough actors, but the girl is clearly the stronger of the two – it didn’t shock me to find out the boy has done nothing sense. All of their interactions with Ted were well-done, and watching Ted go more and more nuts was fun. The final shot of the chaos with Antonio just standing in the doorway and calmly asking “did they misbehave?” was priceless. Perfect complement to the cartoons the kids were watching. Grade: A-

4/16/2015 12:54:37 am

The Man From Hollywood

This is the hardest segment to grade. There’s some great stuff here – the patented Tarantino long takes are great and the final shots where Norman’s finger gets chopped off is perfect (more on that in a second). Tarantino is fine starring in his little segment; he’s not as distracting as in most other roles, but you still wonder how this could have turned out with a real actor. Bruce Willis as Leo was bizarre though. It’s like he realized 60% of the way through “oh yeah, I’m supposed to be drunk” and then went way too far in that direction. He was distractingly bad. The story was ok though, and still, those final shots just got me enough to swing it in the positive direction… barely. Grade: B-

Overall

The handfuls of interactions not associated with the four stories are well done overall. I liked how we end up coming full circle to the old bellboy talking to Ted with Ted finally taking his “smile and leave” advice in the final shot. I also found the sequence where Ted has to talk to Margaret to be really funny; nice role-reversal there of three women drunk playing a bad video game plays for solid comedic effect.

The one thread really holding everything together is Ted, played by Tim Roth. Overall, Roth does a solid job from scene to scene, but Ted is a bit of a schizophrenic. I know he’s dealing with four directors, but the performances do not feel consistent from scene to scene. Even his voice changes wildly depending on who is directing him. He just doesn’t feel like the same person from scene to scene.

Some good, some bad, overall pretty interesting. It’s a better idea than it is a final product. Really, I think this concept and setting would have worked much better as a stage play than as a movie.

+ The Misbehavers
+ The final chop
+ All scenes are well-directed
- The Missing Ingredient
- Everything Madonna does
- Ted is not a consistent character

Grade: C

"Topper" by Sean

4/17/2015 04:54:31 am

Tom texted me last Saturday, "Four rooms sucks"

That is all

Bobby

4/17/2015 05:59:06 am

Sounds like a solid B, right Shane?

4/17/2015 06:48:19 am

He really paints a picture with his words

Jon

4/21/2015 11:07:17 am

If Topper slaps a grade on that, that's an acceptable review.

4/18/2015 11:58:53 am

I've known about Four Rooms for awhile, and for reasons I can't identify, I had to force myself to watch this. I likely never would've watched it if not for Bobby's pick. While watching, I really struggled to leave it on. Bobby accurately calls out a love-it-or-hate-it dichotomy on Tim Roth's performance. Chalk me up in the hate-it category. I don't think it's an accident that Tarantino's segment brings up Jerry Lewis, a physical comedian who maybe could've pulled off Ted the Bellhop. Roth cannot do it. We talked in the podcast about comedy perhaps being harder than drama, and I think Roth's great performances in Reservoir Dogs or Rob Roy bear that out in comparison to the terrible performance he gives here. Comedy's just not his forte. Thankfully, as better directors take over the film, his twitchy nonsense gets reduced, helping the swirling angry clouds in my brain dissipate, but I think we have several Mediocrity contenders for Worst Performance here.

Sticking with the preferred format for reviewing Four Rooms, I'll copy everyone else and knock out each segment.

The Missing Ingredient fucking sucked. Cutesy and amateurish with Roth's bullshit style of walking and talking cranked up to 11. Heart wipes between scenes, the introduction of magic to the world courtesy of some cheesy effects, and nudity for the sake of nudity. What was the process for the characters for making up the rhymes they recited before dumping their ingredients in the pot? Were those actual spells, or were they supposed to improv them, like the semen witch's? Why would the semen witch want anything to do with Ted ever again? What is appealing or attractive about this man who walks like his bones are made of rubber, and is clearly on meth all the time? I don't believe anything happening on screen, from the actions to the tone. Director Allison Anders might do some fine work on Orange is the New Black, but The Missing Ingredient may as well be written and directed by a teenage girl, and not a smart one either. Pure garbage, it gets an F.

The Wrong Man is another segment that feels like an amateur trying new things out. Oooo, the camera's going through a wall! Look at Ted inside and outside the window! See how small Ted is compared to the hotel! Here's an arrow pointing at him in case you missed it! Alexandre Rockwell has had an even shittier career than Anders, and I'm fine with that. David Proval saves the segment from an F, but just barely. He has an interesting look, but he's just yelling the whole time, or randomly slipping in and out of accents. Between his volume and Roth's over-acting, I'm begging for the segment to be over. Barely improving on the Missing Ingredient, Rockwell gets a D.

The Misbehavers is Rodriguez warming up for Spy Kids. Banderas as the wealthy dad in both, leaving his older daughter and younger son who proceed to get into adventures. This is when Four Rooms stopped being painful. I don't yet think it's very good, but it's at least watchable. The stakes are well-established by Banderas saying Behave right into the camera, and there's an escalation to the segment that keeps me interested. Things start straightforward enough, but soon the boy is sucking on his toes and the girl is about to stab herself with a syringe. Phil mentions some of this actually being recognizable behavior and for the first time, I agree. Roth is slightly turned down, but his growing exasperation is still agitating. I could've done without his throwing up right in front of the camera, too. Solid at a C+.

The Man From Hollywood is where things really pick up for me, probably to no one's surprise. More escalation, more recognizable behavior, interesting stakes, strong camera work. The long takes establish tension and have me legitimately interested in the story. Tarantino's fine as the lead, which is really saying something for him. He also directs Roth like a person, not a twitchy, spastic mess. There's plenty of fun scenes and bits, like Tarantino stuffing a donut in his mouth. Willis's character is poorly calibrated, and all over the place in the segment's only real negative. I experienced growing astonishment that after the shit that had come before, I was as invested as I was. Tarantino's big sales speech at the end is the capper, followed by the perfect predictability of the failed lighter. Easily the best segment at a B+, The Man From Hollywood saves Four Rooms from D territory, because I cannot have this much fun and still say I didn't like a movie, which is what D's mean for me.

I'm glad I got this viewing out of the way as a Tarantino completionist, as the strength of his segment is just barely enough to cleanse my palate of Anders's and Rockwell's garbage. It made sitting through the first half tolerable, though on the off chance I ever watch this again, I'll be skipping big chunks. The different writers/directors actively detracts from the movie while adding nothing. Four Room

4/18/2015 12:00:06 pm

Four Rooms gets a C-.

So close to the character limit, yet so far.

Drew

4/18/2015 03:47:33 pm

Oh boy, another Tarantino film. Ugh...

This is the third time watching this film and it was not the charm.

The Missing Ingredient

Lame. I liked seeing the tits.

What Phil and Jon said. Just dumb and insignificant. To be fair, it is part of a random story that happens to Ted but the story, in and of itself, is completely ridiculous.

The Wrong Man

This marital game is pretty sick. Angela has nice lines but that game was all kinds of weird. Not too great but not awful.

The Misbehavers

This was pretty funny. It was as if everything that could go wrong, did. The best part was when Banderas enters the room with his wife passed out in his left arm and the room is on fire, only for him to say "Did the children misbehave?" Fantastic.

The Man from Hollywood.

I completely disagree with Jon because nothing picked up. This was almost as pathetic as the Missing Ingredient. This dragged on and on about an idiotic bet. Tarantino is almost as bad as an actor as he is a director. Okay, that was ingenious, but he is a bad actor and he pegs himself as the actual guy from Hollywood? What an arrogant jackass. Anyone could have done that role better than Tarantino. The speech he gave to Ted is completely ridiculous. "Here is money to chop off a finger and I will talk fast to seem impressive." Please.

The movie, as a whole, is average at best. I do not understand how anyone can rate it above a C+. For me, this is a D+. What saved it for Jon, sunk it for me. It was a bad ending to a not so great movie.

Grade: D+

4/18/2015 04:06:39 pm

Third time? I know you watched it once when we lived in the 1506... when and why did you watch it again? You gave it a B- before!

4/18/2015 04:31:33 pm

There was a second viewing with a girl I was kind of seeing. We messed around during the film so maybe that's why I gave it that grade. Good excuse.

4/21/2015 11:10:43 am

That Tarantino speech is being undersold. Ted is being sold an experience that he'll be able to tell people about forever, at no physical or financial risk to himself, and is being paid a thousand dollars to do it. It's so well argued that even a subpar actor like Tarantino can sell it. I absolutely would've held that cleaver.

4/21/2015 11:54:43 am

I wholeheartedly disagree with you, Jon. It was not undersold; rather sold exactly what it was. It was a glorified Big Rob speech. That's it and it was ridiculous.

4/18/2015 03:59:58 pm

Just a question for Bobby. When you make your jefe choice, has it ever been graded lower than a B?

BobbyS

4/18/2015 04:05:04 pm

I don't think so, in fact... I may not have picked lower than an A- for myself. A bunch I've seen before, either long ago, or wanted a rewatch with a closer look. I prefer to pick movies I like, or am pretty sure I will like... especially when I feel like they will be seen differently by the group so i can see why and what the varying opinions are.

4/20/2015 06:28:25 am

I'm fairly certain I've graded all of mine an A- or better. I think I've made four picks since joining - Cabin in the Woods, Dear Zachary, Apocalypse Now, Pulp Fiction - two classics, one I had seen before and wanted to discuss, and one I had heard was great. My next movie, Locke, will be joining the Dear Zachary grouping of movies I've watched and just want to talk about (and it won't be breaking my A- or better streak either).

4/20/2015 03:47:44 pm

I would not consider Cabin in the Woods and Apocalypse Now two classics.

4/20/2015 04:06:46 pm

Although Apocalypse Now is one...but not Cabin in the Woods.

4/21/2015 01:27:22 am

I see what you did there Drew.

Cooker

4/18/2015 05:20:48 pm

Four. Four Rooms, ah ah ah. They call me the Count...

I’ve never been a big Tarantino fan, but I went into this with an open mind knowing he was only directing/appearing in a segment of it. I like the concept of shorter films within films, but I really wanted them all to tie together somehow aside from just one character being a key figure in them. After the opening credits, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but a comedy that could easily shoot off in any other direction was most likely. I was half expecting a zombie apocalypse or the hotel to drown in a blood bath at any moment.

The first segment was meh. Diana appears at the end with a wicked grin after the witches summoned her and then the story stops. We never see her or any of them again. Looking at a bigger picture, I wondered what the hell was the point. It was pleasant seeing Valeria Golino. I see she still acts, but I haven’t seen anything recent she’s done. I always enjoyed the Hot Shots movies. The second segment was also meh. By now I’m checking how much time has gone by which is never a good sign.

I did enjoy the third segment. The constant sniffing around at everything, drawing a bullseye on the artwork and throwing the syringe, the last shot with the dead girl, fires, chaos, it was all very well done. Great acting by everyone. Not being a Tarantino fan, by the last segment I was doing the dishes; although the resolution had a nice touch. I didn't expect the hatchet to come down so soon.

All in all, I’ll have to stick with thinking it was meh. The lack of tying everything together was a huge letdown. It was funny at times, but not my cup of tea. Grade: C-

4/20/2015 06:34:20 am

Does the movie deserve a negative for not tying everything together? Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't feel like the movie ever had any intention of tying the storylines. It seemed more like a fun idea of giving everyone the chance to make a short film based on a few set rules (in a hotel room, must include Ted, go).

I know it's a bit more extreme, but Apocalypse Now didn't lose points for "not enough laughs." That movie wasn't about laughing. I don't think this movie was about full cohesiveness of plot. Like I said, I didn't like that Ted was not the same person from room to room, but everything ending up being connected like Pulp Fiction or something didn't detract from my experience.

4/20/2015 06:52:22 am

The cohesive plot was Ted. The entire film revolves around his one night serving the different rooms as the bellhop and how he did nearly everything the old man at the beginning of the film told him to avoid.

4/21/2015 11:17:08 am

I think a better movie would've had more connectivity between segments. As is, with the exception of the tied-up wife appearing twice, it's like each segment was made in a vacuum. A basic assumption walking into a movie is that what comes before will inform what comes later, and with some very small Ted-based moments, that wasn't here at all.

Bryan

4/20/2015 03:13:35 pm

If you read nothing else of this review, know that this movie was awful - truly awful. It started bad, got worse, the kids showed promise, then Quentin Tarantino shows up on screen and this thing falls flat - like high school play flat. He's the worst.

The Missing Ingredient was a bad episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch from TGIF. We're at a D+ after scene one.

The Wrong Man had a touch of suspense, up to C-

The end of the The Misbehaviors was generally fun, we've climbed to a C/C+

Then there is whatever is going on with "The Man from Hollywood." Tarantino is more repulsive than Ben Stiller. Bruce Willis is the same guy from Pulp Fiction and equally as annoying. D+

The bell hop was a lewd version of Mr. Bean. At least he chopped that guys finger off. D+ sticks.

4/20/2015 03:21:17 pm

Remember that episode Sabrina showed her sweet underage rack to the evil cat? Just like that episode

4/20/2015 04:01:25 pm

Tarantino's really racking up the nominations for 2015 Mediocrities Worst Male Performance. I love that he could win Best Director and Worst Actor. Truly an honor.

4/21/2015 01:28:49 am

I still want to nominate Willis for worst actor here for whatever the fuck he was doing.

4/21/2015 01:29:35 am

And Madonna had a tour de force for worst actress

4/21/2015 02:00:06 am

He's doing his Pulp Fiction thing

4/21/2015 02:57:00 am

This should also get Tarantino a Worst Director nod, as well. Consider it formally nominated.

4/21/2015 04:52:46 am

I don't get how Drew thinks Bruce Willis is the same character in this as in Pulp Fiction. Drunk and talky vs dark and brooding.

4/21/2015 04:59:13 am

He's the same character in nearly everything he does. He is brooding in both shows. He's brooding in every show.

4/22/2015 04:16:10 am

I don't think anyone is seconding that worst director nom from Drew. I actually liked the directing style of that scene. Now The Missing Ingredient could get a worse director nom and I'd have no issue.

4/22/2015 07:10:46 am

There's no category for Worst Director. We've gotta draw the line somewhere.

4/22/2015 08:52:58 am

Sounds like there is an award for Worst Director in the "Drewpy Awards"

Tom

5/10/2015 08:29:35 am

I watched this movie a long time ago when i was very young. Arguably too young for the movie. The movie did not age well. The wrong man was probably the best out of this steaming pile of dung. D-

Four Rooms

1.89
C

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