MEDIOCREMOVIE.CLUB
  • Reviews
  • Side Pieces
  • Shane of Thrones
  • Podcast
  • About
  • Archives
  • Game of Thrones Fantasy

Explorers

8/24/2015

14 Comments

 

D
0.94

  • Long story short, a horrible attempt at comedy - Chris
  • Unrecognizable behavior is the biggest problem here - Jon
  • I wasn't actively disgusted and bored - Bryan
Picture
First Review by Chris

After watching Explorers, I thought of a news reporter interviewing 10-year-olds after they walk out of the theater. “How was it?” they’d ask. The kids would give responses like “Awesome” or “Best movie ever.” Explorers is one of those movies that I can see being good as a child, but viewing this for the first time in my mid-30s was a different story. I will be comparing it to many other ‘80s movies because scenes reminded me of many other ones.

 The movie starts off with a display of the day’s technology—flying through Tron on a quest to destroy the Death Star. I’m just making shit up. It had a class ‘80s soundtrack that was appropriate. We’re introduced early to Ben (Ethan Hawke who I thought looked like Brad Renfro a little bit) and Wolfgang (River Phoenix). This was both of their screen debuts and if this movie taught us anything it was that River’s death was a tragedy. From his opening scene, you could tell that he was a natural in front of the camera. I enjoyed the early nod to “This Island Earth,” the movie viewed in “Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie.”

The plot starts with typical middle school bullshit. In a scene where Ben is being beat up by Steve Jackson and company (one gang member was played by Bradley Gregg who would later play River Phoenix’s brother Eyeball Chambers in “Stand By Me”), we are introduced to Darren, the third main kid. This scene alone reminded me of “Monster Squad “where E.J. comes to Horrace’s rescue. E.J. then proceeds to “hang out” with the group despite being rather different from everyone else in it. I got a similar vibe here. Darren starts hanging out with Ben and Wolfgang as they start building their spaceship. Darren came from a bad home life which I really wanted to see at some point. Wolfgang’s family was nuts. I’m not sure how many kids they had. I wanted to see more of his family. There was a kid in a highchair eating through a Halloween mask and a mouse that pushed levers to speak. I like cheese. Classic. Though brief, these were considered my highlights of the film.

So through experimentation, they create some type of electromagnetic bubble that floats around. They make a bigger bubble and learn that you can fly around in it. Let’s build a spaceship and fly around. We have the technology. Why are they doing this? To explore? I know it’s the title and all, but I wanted more of a motive. Darren had a bad home life, Wolfgang’s family was nuts, Ben was beaten up and awkward around his crush (played by the late Amanda Peterson). Maybe they needed to get away. Maybe they wanted to get away. I wanted more. I wanted something more realistic. I know it’s a fantasy movie, but another comparison was with the movie “Radio Flyer.” In “Radio Flyer,” young Elijah Wood and Joseph Mazzello build a working airplane out of a wagon. They do this in order to have Joseph’s character escape from their abusive alcoholic stepfather. Motive. I wanted a reason to this movie.

They go to a junkyard to get material for their spaceship, and there’s a dog (reminded me obviously of “Stand By Me”). Instead of “Chopper, sick balls” we see them give the dog chewing gum. Gum seemed to be a reoccurring thing throughout the film. Never caught the logic behind that. So, the spaceship is finished and they call it the Thunder Road after the Springsteen song which never appears in the movie, but probably should have. They fly around and mess with people at a drive-in movie. I swear that one time the actors in the movie were reacting to what was going on in reality. Maybe it was just a coincidence with timing. It didn’t make sense. The homemade spaceship crashes into the concession stand and then apparently is flying again. Those kids must’ve really built a damn good spaceship.

After the movie theater fiasco, the spaceship is spotted by a helicopter (one of its occupants played by Dick Miller who played Mr. Futterman in “Gremlins,” another film directed by Joe Dante). Off topic, but I met Dick Miller and Joe Dante years ago at a convention. I have a signed “Gremlins” poster with the two of them and Zach Galligan. Anyhoo, this is kind of a rushed subplot. Someone’s on to the kids and their ship, someone from space is apparently calling for them. They have visions in which they draw diagrams to upgrade their ship. Blah blah blah. According to Wikipedia, the film was incredibly rushed for time restraints. This is clearly obvious with the final product.

Fast forward to the worst part of it all. The ship somehow makes it up to space and they are brought aboard another ship. The three kids get separated, they’re going down slides (reminded me of “Goonies”), there are giant paparazzi robot spiders, creatures grabbing the kids in inappropriate places, it’s creepy, it’s kooky and it’s stupid. How can it get any worse? This is when we are introduced to Wak and Neek, two aliens that pretty much speak in multiple TV voices. It’s supposed to be funny, and I’m sure to kids it is. Wak, the male alien, reminded me of Max from “Flight of the Navigator.” And Neek, the female, was hitting on River Phoenix. A little disturbing. I actually have in my notes that Wak reminded me of JarJar Binks meets Bumblebee meets Johnny 5 meets Max from “Flight of the Navigator.” Long story short, a horrible attempt at comedy and again, no real motive as to why any of this is happening.

The kids and aliens talk. We learn that the aliens are afraid to come down to Earth because of how aliens are treated in Earth movies. They actually could’ve done something with this, I thought. Maybe taken a more serious approach. Darren has them listen to some Earth music. I swear he calls it 80s music. Wouldn’t it have just been called “music?” I grew up in the 80s, but I don’t recall it being called 80s music in the 80s. Maybe I misheard him. Anyhoo, we find out that the aliens are kids and their dad shows up and is pissed at them. Here’s a point that I thought could’ve been more effective had we seen Darren’s home life. He’s the one that points out that the aliens are kids and that the big creature is their father. A comparison to his own life perhaps? Maybe had we seen it?!

A long story short, the boys leave the ship and crash in a pond down on Earth. The ship sinks. Ben’s crush spies on them and later gives Ben a note, and then all four of them fly back up to space using some dream amulet the aliens gave them before they left. I don’t know; I was pretty much just waiting for it to be over by this point.

A good movie for kids, not so much for adults. It’s attempted fun with a lack of purpose. River Phoenix is greatly missed. Unfunny aliens. Maybe if they had had more time during production and didn’t rush things, we could’ve had something more concrete and worthwhile. I for one, simply didn’t care for this movie at all. I believe I’m going with a D+ on this one. Sowwy.


14 Comments
Admin
8/24/2015 05:36:40 am

Direct replies to initial review.

Reply
Sean
8/25/2015 03:42:05 pm

I'm pissed I had live commenting going up through ther first Thunderroad voyage and they're gone. My fun is over

Reply
Jon
8/25/2015 08:01:16 pm

To bring it back to Ferris Bueller, the 80's A+ remains elusive.

These kind of movies don't really get made anymore. That means there isn't a 2000's equivalent of Sandlot or Heavyweights (was that good?), but it also means dreck like this isn't clogging up theaters. Eighties to the core, Explorers is a movie that treats its audience like dummies. We've talked before about movies aimed at children, and I continue to doubt whether such a thing should exist in the first place. There's been plenty of recent, and not-so-recent examples of movies with a G or PG rating that can appeal to all audiences, and often end up being some of the best movies of any given year. I'm not sad to see movies like this consigned to the cinematic dust heap if it means Pixar and (some) Dreamworks productions gets to suck up their resources and creative energy.

Unrecognizable behavior is the biggest problem here. Why doesn't Wolfgang have a backpack? Those bullies were right to make him drop his books. That huge oversight notwithstanding, there just isn't a sense of awe here. The protagonists discovered a strange new way to fly, and ultimately discover the most annoying aliens since the yip-yips on Sesame Street, but they act like it's completely normal, especially the Huck Finn analog. There needed to be the thrill of discovery throughout, but I didn't get any of that.

This is also just badly made. Several directing flubs bugged me. Why put so much fake sunlight in the scene where they finish construction on their spaceship? They just built a goddamn spaceship, I understand that it's important. The script doesn't follow up on events at all, particularly the basement destruction. All of Farmer Hoggett's canned goods, ruined. The aliens are afraid of earth germs, but they just spent a fair amount of time cuddling with walking bacteria sacks. Why does Ethan Hawke need to hear a recap of what the aliens told him a few minutes after hearing it in person? Did the aliens implant a desire for Hawke in his love interest, therefore making them more powerful than the genie in Aladdin? The aliens themselves are disasters. Going out on a limb here, but did they have vaginas directly above their mouths? I don't know what you guys saw, but I saw vaginas.

There's a good movie here somewhere. The scientist-as-protagonist aspect is rare, and is one of many things I love about How To Train Your Dragon. While watching, I could imagine a remake being appropriate, as they make the most sense when the original movie's not good. STEM education's all the rage, nerds are running movie culture, bring back Explorers for the modern age. Just keep the failed christening scene. That was solid. D

Reply
Sean
8/26/2015 05:32:07 am

Bad

Even the crappiest of kids movies typically have some kind of stakes involved. During my live commenting that went away I noted that I was 45 minutes in and the movie had failed to provide any stakes as to what could happen- could the bubble pop and they plummet to their deaths, sure but thats definitely not happening. When they were spotted by the police helicopter I at least thought there was going to be an investigation as to the mysterious flying object wreaking havoc at the drive-in or the military coming to confiscate the technology for their use. Nope- the cop is basically an older version of Ethan Hawke and he was just quietly proud of the kids pursuing their dreams.

Highlights I remember from my live comments
-why does Ethan Hawke draw with his mouth gaping, this was much worse than Adele's mouth breathing in Blue
-this lily white suburbia sure has a lot of bullies, I wish I had that jean jacket with the fuzzy lining
-the 80s sure loved walkie talkies in movies between kids houses
-River Phoenix is to good looking and charismatic for Wolfgang, he should've played Darren- this comment was confirmed at the end when there was awkward sexual chemistry between Wolfgang and lady alien


This movie sucked even for a kids movie. Hawke did fine playing the wide eyed dreamer even if it was annoying, wide-eyed dreamers are usually pretty annoying.

Amanda Peterson was a throw away character, Hawkes crush on her did literally nothing for the movies plot other than the kids using the bubble so he could try to catch some boobage through her window, of course the bubble didn't make him invisible in any way so he was probably just able to return the ladder to his dads garage. R.I.P Amanda.

I'm going F, it feels like you shouldn't fail a kids movie but I don't care. I'd have been in the D- range had they even tried with the ridiculous aliens or even just had the aliens have a purpose.

Reply
Bobby
8/26/2015 06:45:50 am

Walkie Talkies were the shit in the 80s!

Reply
Sean
8/26/2015 10:00:18 am

But did you and one of your friends down the street each have one and chat it up morning and night

Bobby
8/27/2015 03:54:47 pm

No, we walked to each other's houses and chatted in person.

Now we just post comments and gifs on facebook to each other...

Bryan
8/26/2015 02:21:49 pm

What just happened?

Let's start with the positive. I wasn't actively disgusted or so bored I hit fast forward or shut it off like that circle jerk "Revisionairies." This is a Tomb Raider-esque movie in it's awfulness. It's full of plot holes and oversights, but Phil has convinced me to overlook those in seemingly all cases :-)

I'll echo Bobby's gaping mouth statement. I'll also add in the chewing with one's mouth open noises. Grose with an 'e'.

What this movie brought to light for me was the age at which one becomes a good actor. I think of Michael Cera in Juno. He plays a teenage boy incredibly well. He was 19 when Juno was released. Osment was 11 in The Sixth Sense so maybe it's an actor by actor thing, but I think the directors could have picked some older, better actors for this.

Last note, I would have liked for science dad to be involved more. He seemed fun.

D

Reply
Jon
8/26/2015 06:04:33 pm

The central trio has six Oscar nominations between them. It's possible that Hawke and Phoenix were still honing their craft, or that there was no child actor that could've made this work.

Reply
Sean
8/27/2015 05:02:46 am

Hawke was nominated for Best Starring Performance by a Young Actor in a Motion Picture at the 7th Annual Youth in Film Awards for this movie.

Other nominees were Hunter Carson- Paris, TX; Lukas Haas- Witness; Barret Oliver-D.A.R.Y.L; Jason Lively- National Lampoons European Vacation; and Sean Astin- Goonies

Won by Sean Astin

River Phoenix was nominated for Exceptional Performance by a Young Actor in a Motion Picture along with Jeff Cohen and Corey Feldman- Goonies; Corey Haim- Firstborn; Joey Lawrence-Summer Rental; Billy Jacoby- Just One of the Guys

Wiki has conflicting info on winner being Jacoby or Phoenix- the website of Young Artist Awards says Phoenix.

Somehow Amanda Peterson was nominated for Best Starring Performance
winner- Meredith Salenger- Journey of Natty Gunn; Fairuza Balk- Return to Oz; Drew Barrymore- Cats Eye; Joyce Hyser- Just One of the Guys

Sean
8/27/2015 05:05:23 am

So maybe a case of direction/story vs acting

Also, looking at the other nominees, maybe the Youth in Film Awards nominates all the kids

Bobby
8/27/2015 04:25:46 pm

The Explorers completely failed to grab my interest... I actually paused it at one point, and it took me a couple days to go back and finish it. I'd like to blame it on the special effects and costume work being outdated, but nothing they'd do in those departments these days would make the film any more interesting.

The acting wasn't great, but that's about par for the course when kids make up most of the cast. Hawke and Phoenix clearly got better as the grew up... and I'll always be a little sad we didn't get to see a full career from River.

So weird.. Lori (at least i think it was) was standing behind the boys when they watched the ship sink.. then she goes running down some stairs... but then the scene ends as Ben walks away and it cuts to the classroom. What? Why? Or was that just some random ass girl watching and then leaving as if nothing strange just happened?

Anyway, the story wasn't compelling at all... I didn't care one bit about Ben and Lori, although I did yearn Bob Dylan's 'The Man In Me' to start playing as they flew.

Completely underwhelming movie... but I'm guessing some kids would be slightly amused (or at least were in the 80s) by the aliens and what not.. so i don't think it's a complete failure. Netflix did suggest Captain Sabertooth as my next watch when The Explorers finished.... that's not a good sign. They also some how have Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal, two great classics, in the 'More like this' section. Liars. The Explorers get a D.

Reply
Drew
8/31/2015 08:49:14 am

I honestly tried to watch this last night and could not finish it. The premise was tacky and the children - along with the adult - were not good. Rivers had his time in Stand by Me and Ethan's talent was found later so it is good scouts did not give up on them after Explorers. I simply could not get into it.

One thing that I admire about Explorers was its ability to talk about space. The cosmos is amazing and it was refreshing to see junior high students not just show an interest but get excited about its many possibilities. Hopefully there is someone who saw it and liked the idea of exploring our great, and seemingly endless, universe. If that happened, then Explorers was a success. To me, however, it was not.

Grade: D+

Reply
Phil
9/10/2015 04:07:42 pm

I committed to 100% participation, and that's what I'm gonna do dammit! Even if it means watching bad kids movies.

A lot of points that I had already came up in reviews, and Cooker absolutely hit the nail on the head with regards to who the audience for this movie is, although I don't even think a 10 year old version of me would have found this funny (I had already been introduced to Tommy Boy and Billy Madison by that point). Regardless, so many of these 80's and 90's kids movies are badly made and have to catch you at the right time (and that includes Sandlot, which is not a good movie - I hope Kissel doesn't actually enjoy that thing).

My main gripe with this movie is that there's absolutely no plot, no character growth, no change, no interesting events, nothing. It's just a story about three kids going to a spaceship, meeting very annoying aliens, and coming back home. That's it. I don't understand why this exists.

That said, I thought it was surprisingly insightful that the aliens were actually afraid of humans based on the media they had consumed. It was an interesting commentary that could have been explored, but was swept under the rug. Missed opportunity there. Of course, we don't even get to space until over one hour in, and the movie was already too long. Why did we bother developing the kids as characters when they weren't gonna experience an ounce of growth? The choices made here were just bizarre.

Grade: D-

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Authors

    JUST SOME IDIOTS GIVING SURPRISINGLY AVERAGE MOVIE REVIEWS.

    Categories

    All
    2017 Catch Up Trio
    80s
    Action
    Adventure
    AI Trio
    Author - Blair
    Author - Bobby
    Author - Bryan
    Author - Chris
    Author - Cook
    Author - Drew
    Author - Joe
    Author - Jon
    Author - JR
    Author - Lane
    Author - Phil
    Author - Pierce
    Author - Sean
    Author - Shane
    Author - Tom
    Best Of 2016
    Best Of 2017
    Best Of 2018
    Best Of 2019
    Best Of 2020
    Best Of 2021
    Best Of 2022
    Comedy
    Culture Clash Trio
    Denzel Trio
    Documentary
    Drama
    Foreign
    Historical
    Horror
    Internet Docs Trio
    Mediocrities
    Movie Trios
    Musical
    Podcast
    Romance
    Round 3.1
    Round 3.2
    Round 3.3
    Round 4.1
    Round 4.2
    Round 4.3
    Sci Fi
    Season 10
    Season 2
    Season 3
    Season 4
    Season 5
    Season 6
    Season 7
    Season 8
    Season 9
    Shorts
    Sports
    Thriller
    Western
    Women In Men's Worlds

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014

    Click to set custom HTML