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Shane's Superhero Showdown Semifinals

12/4/2015

3 Comments

 
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#1 The Dark Knight Returns v #4 Guardians of the Galaxy
This is a brutal matchup for me personally. I like both of these movies than the other two on the other side of the bracket. The smart money is on The Dark Knight here, but I’m gonna try to convince you to walk away from that. You were more likely to have seen the The Dark Knight in the theater, which really adds to the movie. But I think that addition really distracts from the plot. There are some serious holes, and of course, the director let Bale really abuse the Batman voice. The Two-Face plotline kinda runs right off the track into batshit (nice one, Shane) crazytown in the end. Also, where does Joker get all of those henchmen? And why didn’t anyone notice all the replacement policemen? It’s like they wanted you to think the Joker had some sort of covert Fight Club situation and the audience is just supposed to buy it. The Joker, ironically, saves this movie. (Despite my criticism, I still love The Dark Knight and think it’s a very good movie.)
 
Guardians just doesn’t have those glaring plot holes. There are some minor issues and suspension of belief, but this movie is just tighter. It’s the perfect action movie with a great comic book storyline. Sorry, America and other countries named Not-America, but Guardians should be your choice.
 
#2 The Avengers v #6 Spider-Man 2
I haven’t seen The Avengers, but that doesn’t matter here. Spider-Man 2 just doesn’t cut the mustard when compared to the big boys. Doc Occ somehow becomes superhuman just because he gets some slick arms. And then when he wants to talk with Spidey, he just starts chucking goddamn cars through windows. And why are all these insane experiments happening in Manhattan?  If something goes wrong, you’re in the middle of the most densely populated area in America outside of the Adele Bandwagon. Not only that, but jesusmaryandjoseph, have you seen the rent prices in Manhattan? Insane. Scientists are always begging for money and grants because research and testing is expensive. That’s why medicine and other tech is expensive: They need to get back the money they lost in making the product. These assholes are just like, fuck it, our science is science with a great view and terrible parking. No way.
 
The Avengers, FTW
3 Comments
Drew
12/4/2015 07:45:00 pm

Pish Posh. The Dark Knight is way better than Guardians. And yes, Avengers should defeat Spiderman 2.

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Mr. Flazm
12/8/2015 03:20:38 pm

Umm. Dark Knight is one of the best movies ever, and who the eff didn't get see the Avengers?

Reply
Shane
12/9/2015 12:12:08 pm

It's inexcusable.

Reply



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