40 movies reviewed. One will be crowned most malarkick!
Round 1. A ton of play-in games.
Round 1. A ton of play-in games.
Game 1: Max Rockatansky versus Bruce Lee. Both aren't great at English, but Mad Max gets the edge due to having 100% less strange soup-eating scenes.
Game 2: Don McLeroy versus Tara Reid. Equal intelligence levels results in these two movies bashing their heads against each other, but Revisionaries is much, much dumber and pounds Sharknado into submission.
Game 3: Manhunter versus Only God Forgives. I'll take a flaming wheelchair over a fondled uterus any day. Manhunter FTW.
Game 4: Doppelgangers versus demons. Two Mark Duplass's hold down Daniel Radcliffe while two Elisabeth Olsen's take turns stomping on his crotch.
Game 5: Killer Joe Cooper is uninterested in voting laws, introduces Mo Rocca to some K-Fried-C.
Game 6: Machete don't poop back and forth, forever.
Game 7: Lara Croft might give great helmet, but she's in an awful, awful movie. Spaceballs advances, poised for the Round 2 upset of Major League.
Game 8: A movie about physical masturbation versus mental masturbation. The edge goes to the much more entertaining version.
Game 9: Closest match of Round 1. Toss-up between Cabin in the Woods and Drinking Buddies, even call. If Cabin had gone with the Ballerina monster, it wouldn't be as close.
Game 10: Michael Douglas finds himself in an alternate dimension, is sure Sean Penn set him up. Meets a giant-eye monster, or something. I still don't know what was happening in John Dies at the End.
Game 2: Don McLeroy versus Tara Reid. Equal intelligence levels results in these two movies bashing their heads against each other, but Revisionaries is much, much dumber and pounds Sharknado into submission.
Game 3: Manhunter versus Only God Forgives. I'll take a flaming wheelchair over a fondled uterus any day. Manhunter FTW.
Game 4: Doppelgangers versus demons. Two Mark Duplass's hold down Daniel Radcliffe while two Elisabeth Olsen's take turns stomping on his crotch.
Game 5: Killer Joe Cooper is uninterested in voting laws, introduces Mo Rocca to some K-Fried-C.
Game 6: Machete don't poop back and forth, forever.
Game 7: Lara Croft might give great helmet, but she's in an awful, awful movie. Spaceballs advances, poised for the Round 2 upset of Major League.
Game 8: A movie about physical masturbation versus mental masturbation. The edge goes to the much more entertaining version.
Game 9: Closest match of Round 1. Toss-up between Cabin in the Woods and Drinking Buddies, even call. If Cabin had gone with the Ballerina monster, it wouldn't be as close.
Game 10: Michael Douglas finds himself in an alternate dimension, is sure Sean Penn set him up. Meets a giant-eye monster, or something. I still don't know what was happening in John Dies at the End.
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